Rolling, rolling, rolling...

Craziness abounds...

2008-07-14T22:24:00.001-07:00

Well, a week with PGirl, Galoot, Viking, PGirl Jr., and Galoot Jr. has me spent. Between working all night and partying all day I am done. No more beer for me, well at least for another day or two.
The toga party went well. For eats we had falafil, lamb, antipasto, bakalava (I always want to type "balaclava"), and other sides and dressings. It was my first time roasting a whole leg of lamb, and I did two, but I think it went well. Also, Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy tastes much better on tap. I think there's still a little left in the keg though. I also remember why I don't karaoke in public. Peter Cetera has a great voice, and it shouldn't be tainted by my drunken ramblings. The next time I sing, in public, I'll know what I shouldn't do. We may be getting a visit from the mayor at some point too, since he did a drive by of the party at least 3 times. Thankfully the cops never showed.
Also, I'm glad Slea and I stopped at 2 kids, 4 would be too much. It's cool seeing all of the kids playing together though, even if the noise is too much sometimes. I'm a very quiet kind of guy. I like there to be some semblence of peace in the house. Must be from so many years on third shift, I'm up at night and everyone else is sleeping.
Viking got me hooked on the best/worst game ever. Be sure to look up "Rumble Roses" next time you're looking for a game to rent. Galoot on the other hand, has a second career as a criminal lined up in the future. He seemed to enjoy taking potshots at cops from roofs in Grand Theft Auto. I prefer driving cars until they blow up, but that's just me.
Finally, I completed the EMT-I program and got my license last week. I already had my cherry popped too. An inmate was having an MI and I watched it happen on the cardiac monitor. Pretty cool stuff, for me not him.
Pics and stuff in the next post.

And some inspiration for Slea.

2008-05-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

6 weeks and counting...

2008-05-19T23:18:00.000-07:00

So way back last fall I started my classes for the next level of EMS, my EMT-Intermediate license. Now the final countdown has begun. 250 class hours are done and 150 clinical hours are nearing completion. I've only got a few big milestones to get out of the way before I test on June 28th, 2 intubations, 1 birth, and 2 psych emergencies. So, if any of you are travelling through Illinois this next month and want to help a brother out, just OD on some prescription narcotics or have a heart attack or something and I'll be there to intubate you.

It's kind of weird thinking that my career hinges on people going through tragedies, at least for the next month or so.

Kassie's kicking monster ass

2008-05-10T14:14:00.001-07:00

wut?

:3

2008-05-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

If you think you've spotted a baby, verify by employing classic sniffing techniques. Baby powder is a dead giveaway.

Flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.

Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

If a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented hug, smile, and lean in order to achieve the best photo quality.

Chickens coming home to roost?

2008-05-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

Tired of reading news and posts about Jeremiah Wright's increasingly insane diatribes on society? Want to have another reason to hate the media? Here are a few nice little distractions to help you in your interweb readings.

Italics taken from the NY Times, slightly edited by me for clarity.

What Jerry Falwell said on Thursday September 13th, 2001 on ''The 700 Club,'' while chatting with the program's host, Pat Robertson, was this:

''What we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be minuscule if, in fact, God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.''

Mr. Robertson responded, ''Jerry, that's my feeling. I think we've just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven't even begun to see what they can do to the major population.''

A few moments later Mr. Falwell said, ''The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the A.C.L.U., People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.' ''

To which Mr. Robertson said, ''Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government.''

Mr. Robertson also issued a press release on Thursday saying that in a country rampant with materialism, Internet pornography and lack of prayer, ''God almighty is lifting his protection from us.''

They couldn't even wait until Sunday to proclaim "GOD DAMN AMERICA!" They did it on Thursday.

And what about John McCain, the republican presidential candidate? Could it be possible that there is a Reverend wright in his camp? If you follow mainstream media you may not find it, but a little digging will unearth some characters. Here is a clip of one of McCain's clerical supporters, Mr. John Hagee:

LINK

On Feb. 27, he stood with John McCain and endorsed him over the religious conservatives’ favorite, Mike Huckabee, who was then still in the race.

Are we really to believe that neither Mr. McCain nor his camp knew anything then about Mr. Hagee’s views? This particular YouTube video — far from the only one — was posted on Jan. 1, nearly two months before the Hagee-McCain press conference. Mr. Hagee appears on multiple religious networks, including twice daily on the largest, Trinity Broadcasting, which reaches 75 million homes.

Hagee also stated in 2005 that Hurricane Katrina was sent by God to punish New Orleans for having a gay pride parade there. LINK

"All hurricanes are acts of God, because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they are -- were recipients of the judgment of God for that. The newspaper carried the story in our local area that was not carried nationally that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came. And the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other Gay Pride parades. So I believe that the judgment of God is a very real thing. I know that there are people who demur from that, but I believe that the Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment. And I believe that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans."

More Hagee craziness:

LINK
LINK
LINK
LINK

Ralph Nader is looking better and better every day.

Racism is always unacceptable.

2008-04-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

But did they seriously need to add the bowl of noodles in front of her? Isn't that stereotyping? Can't the slob in back (who just got off work where he holds the "SLOW" signs in construction zones) think of anything better than slant eyes? And why does the blonde chick look like she's enjoying the guy's telepathy trick too much? Maybe the Asian broad is using chopsticks because that traffic asshole bent all of the spoons.

I just think that the two in back enjoyed making this ad WAY too much.

A Monday list for me to do...

2008-04-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions...
No repeats on songs! Bonus points for finding videos!

Pick an artist: Daft Punk

1.) Are you a male or female?:
Human After All

2.) Describe yourself:
Fresh

3.) How do you feel about yourself?:
The Prime Time of Your Life

4.) Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
Too Long

5.) Describe your significant other:
Teachers

6.) Describe where you currently live:
Something About Us

7.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Around the World

8.) Your best friend is:
Technologic

9.) Your favorite color is:
Indo Silver Club

10.) You know that:
Television Rules the Nation

11.) What's the weather like?:
Burnin'

12.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?:
Face to Face

13.) What is life to you?:
High Life

14.) What is the best advice you have to give?:
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

15.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to:
Da Funk

Sorry I haven't blogged much, I've been busy growing a mustache.

2008-04-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough month trying to get that baby to grow just right. Kind of makes me look like a porn star.
But now I took care of getting rid of it. Happy Friday!

EDIT: Lasagna Cat made my day when I found this.

Test Your Awareness: Do The Test

2008-03-24T14:50:00.001-07:00

No, this isn't some screamer or prank, just try the test.

10 things only a douchebag would buy.

2008-03-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

No, really...10 things only a douchebag would buy.

Public reations to a bunch of 7 year olds...

2008-03-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

Today I went and gave a speech to Mazzy's 1st grade class. It was kind of arranged by her, since she said that she wanted me to go talk to them. So I went with a jump kit and some extra stuff and went to talk. My instructor for my Intermediate class let me borrow his skeleton (named Johnny) and then I took extra gloves and bandages. Mazzy introduced me to the class, she did seem a little embarrassed at first but she warmed up to the kids after she told them what I did. So I started with talking about 9-1-1 and when they should call and what they need to know, address, name, etc. I talked a bit about bicycle safety and whatnot. Then I went on to my speech about the skeleton and talked about the lungs and heart and handed out stethoscopes and BP cuffs for the kids to play with. One girl volunteered to be the "victim" of a broken arm so I splinted her with a SAM splint. Another boy had a head injury and he got his head wrapped with a bunch of bandages. Then I opened the floor for questions for the kids. I was stumped by a few of them, those kids are clever:

"What is a bruise?"

"How do we grow?"

"How do we heal from cuts?"

"How do we grow?"

"How do we talk?"

"Where are my lungs?"

"Do you shock people like on TV?"

"What happens when you lose all of your blood?"

"What happens if a car runs over you?"

"What happens when you lose most of your blood?"

"Why does my nose bleed?"

"Did you take anyone in your ambulance today?"

"What are the blue lines in my wrist?"

Thankfully, no kids asked about penises or vaginas, which was surprising since 2 kids have OB/GYNs for parents.

Mazzy wanted to add a bit to the post, so here is her bit: "Today was special to me and Daddy. And it was awesome. It was very very cool. I learned how bruises happen."

It was an exciting little end to my day. It was a bit a rough start, we lost one of our fire department's lieutenants to cancer this morning. He was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago with liver cancer and finally succumbed today. It was a rough time not having him around, he was the lynch pin to our FD. I really only knew him from a professional standpoint, but these past few weeks have really taught me how much he touched those around our community. I'm adding a link to his blog on Caring Bridges. His wife hasn't updated it yet regarding his passing, and I will be adding a link to his obituary soon.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/timmurphy1

Hope things are going well for everyone else out there in blog land.

PS for flyingvan - my boss wasn't too keen on us taking the rig out to California for a road trip. Maybe I'll buy the old one when we get a new one and use it for an RV.

A post of pictures, some for Slea, some for flying van.

2008-02-29T06:22:00.001-08:00

Hey Jude

2008-02-25T14:14:00.001-08:00

A post for the boy. Hopefully Roberto doesn't get too upset.

Profound words from a 7 year old...

2008-02-23T19:29:00.000-08:00

So Mazzy wore this shirt to school for Valentine's day. I picked it out not only for the pink but also the heart and crossbone pattern. I secretly hope she will be a pirate one day. Anyway, she asked me what the pattern meant. I said it was just a cool design. She said, "I think the heart is for love and the crossbones are for poison. That means that love hurts sometimes."

Poet, artist, philosopher, 1st grader.

I'm getting tired of hearing Obama is only about hope and change...

2008-02-23T01:51:00.000-08:00

So I did a little researching into his voting record. Now, keep in mind that this is from his first term as a junior senator in 2005-2007. This information was taken from http://www.dailykos.com and helenann

Senator Obama has sponsored or co-sponsored 570 bills in the 109th and 110th Congress.

Senator Obama has sponsored or co-sponsored 15 bills that have become LAW since he joined the Senate in 2005.

Senator Obama has also introduced amendments to 50 bills, of which 16 were adopted by the Senate.

Two addressed foreign policy:
Promote relief, security and democracy in the Congo (2125)
Develop democratic institutions in areas under Palestinian control (2370).

Three addressed public health:
Improve mine safety (2803)
Increased breast cancer funding (597)
Reduce preterm delivery and complications, reduce infant mortality (707).

Two addressed openness and accountability in government:
Strengthening the Freedom of Information Act (2488)
Full disclosure of all entities receiving federal funds (2590)

Two addressed national security
Extend Terrorist Risk Insurance (467)
Amend the Patriot Act (2167)

One addressed the needs of the Armed Forces
Wave passport fees to visit graves, attend memorials/funerals of veterans abroad (1184).

Of the 570 bills Senator Obama introduced into the Senate during the 109th and 110th Congress (Senate Bill numbers are in parentheses), they can be summarized as follows:

25 addressed Energy Efficiency and Climate Change
Suspend royalty relief for oil and gas (115)
Reduce dependence on oil; use of alternative energy sources (133)
Increase fuel economy standards for cars (767, 768)
Auto industry incentives for fuel efficient vehicles (1151)
Reduce green house gas emissions (1324)
Establish at NSF a climate change education program (1389)
Increase renewable content of gasoline (2202)
Energy emergency relief for small businesses and farms (269)
Strategic gasoline and fuel reserves (1794)
Alternative diesel standards (3554)
Coal to liquid fuel promotion (3623)
Renewable diesel standards (1920)
Reducing global warming pollution from vehicles (2555)
Fuel security and consumer choice (1994, 2025)
Alternative energy refueling system (2614)
Climate change education (1389)
Low income energy assistance (2405)
Oil savings targets (339)
Fuel economy reform (3694)
Plug-in electric drive vehicles (1617)
Nuclear release notice (2348)
Passenger rail investment (294)
Energy relief for low income families (2405)

21 addressed Health Care
Drug re-importation (334)
Health information technology (1262, 1418)
Discount drug prices (2347)
Health care associated infections (2278)
Hospital quality report cards (692, 1824)
Medical error disclosure and compensation (1784)
Emergency medical care and response (1873)
Stem cell research (5)
Medical Malpractice insurance (1525)
Health centers renewal (901, 3771)
Children’s health insurance (401)
Home health care (2061)
Medicare independent living (2103)
Microbicides for HIV/AIDS (823)
Ovarian cancer biomarker research (2569)
Gynological cancers (1172)
Access to personalized medicine through use of human genome (976)
Paralysis research and care (1183)

20 addressed Public Health:
Violence against women (1197)
Biodefense and pandemic preparedness and response (1821, 1880)
Viral influenza control (969)
End homelessness (1518)
Reduce STDs/unintended pregnancy (1790)
Smoking prevention and tobacco control (625)
Minority health improvement and disparity elimination (4024)
Nutrition and physical education in schools (2066)
Health impact assessments (1067, 2506)
Healthy communities (1068)
Combat methamphetamines (2071)
Paid sick leave (910)
Prohibit mercury sales (833, 1818)
Prohibit sale of lead products (1306, 2132)
Lead exposure in children (1811, 2132)

14 address Consumer Protection/Labor
Stop unfair labor practices (842)
Fair minimum wage (2, 1062, 2725, 3829)
Internet freedom (2917)
Credit card safety (2411)
Media ownership (2332)
Protecting taxpayer privacy (2484)
Working family child assistance (218)
Habeus Corpus Restoration (185)
Bankruptcy protection for employees and retirees (2092)
FAA fair labor management dispute resolution (2201)
Working families flexibility (2419).

13 addressed the Needs of Veterans and the Armed Forces:
Improve Benefits (117)
Suicide prevention (479)
Needs of homeless veterans (1180)
Homes for veterans (1084)
GI Bill enhancement (43)
Military job protection
Dignity in care for wounded vets (713)
Housing assistance for low income veterans (1084)
Military children in public schools (2151)
Military eye injury research and care (1999)
Research physical/mental health needs from Iraq War (1271)
Proper administration of discharge for personality disorder (1817, 1885)
Security of personal data of veterans (3592)

12 addressed Congressional Ethics and Accountability
Lobbying and ethics reform (230)
Stop fraud (2280)
Legislative transparency and accountability (525)
Open government (2180, 2488)
Restoring fiscal discipline (10)
Transparency and integrity in earmarks (2261)
Accountability of conference committee deliberations and reports (2179)
Federal funding accountability and transparency (2590)
Accountability and oversight for private security functions under Federal
contract (674)
Accountability for contractors and personnel under federal contracts
(2147) Resctrictions awarding government contracts (2519)

10 addressed Foreign Policy:
Iraq war de-escalation (313)
US policy for Iraq (433),
Divestiture from Iran (1430)
Sudan divestment authorization (831)
Millennium Development Goals (2433)
Multilateral debt relief (1320)
Development bank reform (1129)
Nuclear nonproliferation (3131,977,2224).

9 address Voting/Elections
Prohibit deceptive practices in Federal elections (453)
Voter access to polls and services in Federal elections (737)
Voter intimidation and deceptive practices (1975)
Senate campaign disclosure parity (185)
Require reporting for bundled campaign contributions (2030)
Election jamming prevention (4102)
Campaign disclosure parity (223)
Presidential funding (2412)
Integrity of electronic voting systems (1487)

11 addressed Education
Increase access of low income African Americans to higher education (1513)
Establish teaching residency programs (1574)
Increase early intervention services (2111)
Middle school curriculum improvements (2227)
Public database of scholarships, fellowships and financial aid (2428)
Summer learning programs (116)
TANF financial education promotion (924)
Higher education (1642)
Build capacity at community colleges (379)
Campus law enforcement in emergencies (1228)
Support for teachers (2060).

6 addressed Hurrican Katrina
Hurricane Katrina recovery (2319)
Emergency relief (1637)
Bankruptcy relief and community protection (1647)
Working family tax relief (2257)
Fair wages for recovery workers (1749)
Gulf coast infrastructure redevelopment (1836)

5 addressed the Environment
Drinking water security (218, 1426)
Water resources development (728)
Waste water treatment (1995)
Combat illegal logging (1930)
Spent nuclear fuel tracking and Acountability (1194)
Asian Carp Prevention and Control Act (Introduced in Senate)[S.726.IS ]

4 addressed Discrimination
Claims for civil class action based on discrimination (1989)
Domestic partnership benefits (2521)
Unresolved civil rights crimes (535)
Equality or two parent families (2286)

4 addressed Homeland Security
Judicial review of FISA orders (2369)
National emergency family locator (1630)
Amend US Patriot Act (2167)
Chemical security and safety (2486)

We're gonna need a smaller boat...

2008-02-11T05:48:00.001-08:00

Roy Scheider died this weekend. He's one of those actors who I always liked. He seemed, in the movies, to be a cool, laid back kind of guy that had an explosive temper if provoked. It's weird, thinking back all those years, watching Jaws on Memorial Day weekend, knowing that movie almost by heart, how much I viewed him as a super hero just from that one role. He made it safe for me to go back into the water (even though I'm still terrified of the ocean).

So, this broad is going to kill herself in 90 days.

2008-02-08T01:23:00.000-08:00

90 Day Jane's blog claims that she will kill herself in about 3 months. She's logging every day about what to do with stuff and other pointless topics. Like a real blog, only with more attention whoring. I know that I will stay tuned to see what she does when her time is up.

Proper parenting tips...

2008-02-05T10:58:00.001-08:00

Yes, you should click the picture to get the full-sized view.

Old timey Vaudeville on the interwebs...

2008-01-21T15:15:00.000-08:00

Click here.

Don't worry about the window resizing, it's part of the act.

Live action Garfield comics? Yes please!

2008-01-18T06:45:00.001-08:00

The folks at Lasagna Cat are geniuses. Why didn't I think of this? Be sure to watch each video all the way through, it's an acted out comic, a clip of the real one, then a small Jim Davis music tribute.

Another classic here!

Wading, swimming, boating, all the water fun you could want here in Pontiac Illinois!

2008-01-09T21:29:00.000-08:00

Woman tries to kill herself.

The town's under water.

People are being evacuated.

I spent half the day evacuating people from their homes on boats, in trucks, etc. The town's a mess right now. Princess and the family are safe at home, we've only got a little seepage. Some of her family are staying with us right now though, their underwater. Lots of people from the printing plant have called in. Lots of evacuations and power outages, but we're still OK. I'm in here at the printing plant now and I know we won't lose power tonight, so I figured I had better post from here.

If we have any news updates I'll let you all know. Stay dry out there in lurker land!

2007-12-29T05:21:00.000-08:00

Straight from the List of the Day blog.

Got my new band right here!

2007-12-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

1 - Go to wikipedia. Hit "random".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Random quotations:

http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days"

http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to mix it all up. Post.

Happy Christmas!!!

2007-12-25T14:29:00.001-08:00

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

2007-12-21T08:48:00.000-08:00

Illinois goes smoke free on January 1st. I'm actually looking forward to it. On the rare times I go out to the bar I find that I start chain smoking after my 4th drink. It'll be nice to go out and not feel like I have to do that. I'm going to set my date soon to quit. My mom did well on Chantix, so I think that's what I'll try too. Cold turkey worked for a while, nicotine gum helped, but I still felt the need to smoke. Hopefully this route will make it easier to ignore the urges.

Icy car crashes

2007-12-17T12:55:00.001-08:00

It's that time of year again, don't drive stupid.

I took a D & D test. Nerdiness has reached critical mass!

2007-12-16T04:06:00.000-08:00

I Am A: Lawful Good Human Monk/Sorcerer (3rd/2nd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-14

Dexterity-15

Constitution-14

Intelligence-14

Wisdom-13

Charisma-14

Alignment:
Lawful Good A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment because it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Primary Class:
Monks are versatile warriors skilled at fighting without weapons or armor. Good-aligned monks serve as protectors of the people, while evil monks make ideal spies and assassins. Though they don't cast spells, monks channel a subtle energy, called ki. This energy allows them to perform amazing feats, such as healing themselves, catching arrows in flight, and dodging blows with lightning speed. Their mundane and ki-based abilities grow with experience, granting them more power over themselves and their environment. Monks suffer unique penalties to their abilities if they wear armor, as doing so violates their rigid oath. A monk wearing armor loses their Wisdom and level based armor class bonuses, their movement speed, and their additional unarmed attacks per round.

Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Take the test here. But be prepared, it's about 130 questions.

2 years ago i bought Slea a sewing machine...

2007-12-13T13:19:00.001-08:00

She wanted to try out sewing or quilting and what not. Seemed like a good hobby for her to take up. Now the machine is still sitting, in its box, untouched. It's definitely not for lack of inspiration or motivation, it's about space. There's no good spot for a sewing table in the house. In fact, I forgot about it until I saw this post on Mental_Floss. I don't know why i never thought of combining 8-bit art with quilting blocks, it's a natural fit.

But this one stood out, mainly because it's a tattoo I've wanted to get for a long time, that is until I saw Seanbaby's reader babe Caitlin. I don't want the same tattoo some chick has, unless it's the one me a Slea share.

Possibly the greatest movie ever made!

2007-12-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

Ninjas, yakuza, schoolgirls with machine-gun arms, and a drill bra.

Just in time for Christmas: The Scared of Santa Gallery!

2007-12-06T06:07:00.000-08:00

Hundreds of pics for you to enjoy/be terrified of.

Astronauts tested sex in space.

2007-12-03T13:20:00.001-08:00

LINK

US and Russian astronauts have had sex in space for separate research programmes on how human beings might survive years in orbit, according to a book published yesterday.

Pierre Kohler, a respected French scientific writer, says in The Final Mission: Mir, The Human Adventure that the subject is taboo both at Nasa and at mission control in Moscow, but that cosmic couplings have taken place.

"The issue of sex in space is a serious one," he says. "The experiments carried out so far relate to missions planned for married couples on the future International Space Station, the successor to Mir. Scientists need to know how far sexual relations are possible without gravity."

He cites a confidential Nasa report on a space shuttle mission in 1996. A project codenamed STS-XX was to explore sexual positions possible in a weightless atmosphere.

Twenty positions were tested by computer simulation to obtain the best 10, he says. "Two guinea pigs then tested them in real zero-gravity conditions. The results were videotaped but are considered so sensitive that even Nasa was only given a censored version."

Only four positions were found possible without "mechanical assistance". The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.

Mr Kohler says: "One of the principal findings was that the classic so-called missionary position, which is so easy on earth when gravity pushes one downwards, is simply not possible."

A very special note to Princess Slea...

2007-11-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

In case you missed her post, she nailed a deer last night. She's fine, the truck isn't. I think the deer saw the ram horns on the Dodge and got pissed.

Something the Galoot might like.

2007-11-04T14:09:00.000-08:00

Webrip of Wilco performing at Voodoo.

SUPERHAPPYBONUSVID

What's so funny about a donkey eating figs?

2007-10-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, what is it? I don't get it.

I just happened to walk into a radio show...

2007-09-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

powered by ODEO

After a long weekend eating corn dogs and kettle corn, I stumble into a radio show with Chimp. Some hilarity, confusion, and drinking followed...

So, for any Red Hot Chili Pepper fans out there...

2007-08-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Link to downloadable concerts from '84 to '07.

America doesn't hold a candle to South Korea (when it comes to protesting things)

2007-08-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

On my secret internet terrorist board we were discussing PETA and their crazy ideas for protests. From Milk Gone Wild to the current Super Chick Sisters, PETA is one of those groups that makes little if any sense with their attempts to sway people to animal rights. Then, one of the LUEsers posted about a person coming up to them at a restaurant, spitting on theit hamburger, and yelling "Meat is murder!" That's just stupid, not protesting. If someone did that to me they'd be lucky to keep their incisors (meant for rending flesh mind you) in their mouth.

Westboro Baptist Church has made headlines for a few years with their ideas that 9/11 and soldiers' deaths in Iraq are due to the U.S. support of gay rights. But the thing about First Amendment rights is that these types of people need to be heard by the public. I was always taught "A man can swing his arms as much as he wants, until he hits another's nose." PETA can chant all they want about keeping cows as pets and what not, but when they spit on my food or throw paint on my coat, that's too much. Which brings me to South Korea...

For a country of about 50 million people, there are a lot of protests in South Korea. With a national average of 11,000 public protests a year, the average South Korean riot policeman is mobilized to contain 85 demonstrations a year.

While the majority of such protests are probably pretty standard affairs involving marching, shouting, and possibly some violent clashes between protesters and police, there are also some far more interesting protests going on...

Yeah, ripping apart live pigs and throwing shit in supermarkets make PETA kids look like hippies dancing with flowers.

Baby vs. Cobra!!!

2007-08-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

It's like a pokemon battle in real life!

So I'm not posting from the home office...

2007-08-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

One of the best blogs in Chatauqua County made me feel like I need to post about comics. I don't read much in the paper, but I have fun with Garfield edits.

However, online there are several comics that I read regularly.

The perry Bible Fellowship

xkcd

Hamster City (WARNING! ENGRISH!)

Cyanide and Happiness

Maury Povich is an asshole.

2007-08-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Watch this video!

It's bad enough that he showed the guy getting hit twice, but then he had to laugh at the end. What a dick.

R. I. P. Tourette's Guy

2007-08-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

Danny, the Tourette's guy, died last week from unexpected medical complications (probably alcoholism).

It's a shame, because he was not only funny to watch, but it made the problems of Tourette's really hit home. I often involuntarily whistle and blame it on my "Tourette's" but most people don't get it. They think I should be cussing and screaming all day about nothing. I do cuss and scream, but there's something behind it usually. Danny showed the world what it's like really living with TS. His videos made me laugh the first couple of times, but once I started watching them regulaly, the reality of his problem started to sink in. I felt like I knew how rough life could be when you would rendomly yell "BOB SAGET" or "AW SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" or "Go count YOUR DICK!!!"

Maybe you too could realize how life would be with TS if you watch this video.

*saLUEte*

Ever fallen so hard your shoes fell off?

2007-08-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

Jake Brown did this weekend. Thos crazy skaters.

Sam Teresi made into our local paper!

2007-07-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

I know that PGirl and Galoot would be happy to know that their little piece of our country made it into American Profile magazine. I was on break tonight reading the paper when this article jumped out at me. I was upset that I didn't see any unexpected Unexpected Guests in any of the photos. But if I remember right, that Diane Vincent is a bitch.

Really quick post...

2007-07-26T11:17:00.001-07:00

I'm currently hooked on Urban Dead.

My Wii has been gathering dust, I need to find a new game for it. Mybe the new Guitar Hero or something.

I had a really gross call on the ambulance the other day, a bowel obstruction with coffee ground emesis. Stinky.

I'm heading back to work now, hoping we don't get anything too bad today, hope yours is going well (I can't get the whistlingnout of my head).

WTF It's a big post coming.

2007-07-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

So Mazzy and I have parasites. I'm sure Slea's Post may have you wondering about lake parasites. Well, here's a flash video of what it is.

Other than that, Wisconsin was awesome. The kids, Mrs. Chimp, and I got on the road about 10:30 at night and got there about 4 in the morning. We napped for a while then got going on the water. My nephews were there already, so they were out on the waverunner. I took Mazzy and Roto out for a ride, but they weren't too crazy about it. Roto loved the boats though. He wouldn't get off them, parked or not. Mazzy was in the water as much as possible. She swan nearly every day.

The second day, I took my nephew Charles out fishing. I'd guess that we caught about 50 fish altogether, and kept a half dozen really nice ones. I fileted them on the dock the next day. Mazzy had to watch every last gory detail of it. She said that she wanted to tell the "Blood Club" about the dead fish. I made sure to do it really nasty, by first severing the spine, then cutting off the head. The mouth continued to open for a few minutes after death, and she got freaked out by it each time. But she stuck around for the whole deal, I even showed her the guts from one of the fish.

Slea and Chimp made it up later that week and we all had a good time. Lots of beer and wine was consumed, lots of food was killed, grilled, and eaten. We went to the parade on the 4th, snowshoe baseball later, and we headed home early for the fireworks. Ironically, having lots of drunk adults and 3 teenage boys only led to 2 fireworks. inuries. Both me and my sister burned our right thumb while trying to light a sparkler. Stay away from the purple sparklers.

Now I'm back to work and it's been pretty much 12 hour days every day. Kind of sucks after having two really nice vacations in a month. The money is needed though. It kind of cuts in to my ambulance time, but it's also kind of nice having a little break from there too. One of our full time EMTs is back to work after having surgery, and she wasn't scheduled this month. So she took up my hours for this week and maybe next, it made it easier to give them up that way.

And finally, on a side note, Rick started playing fetch today.

My Dad sleeps all day and works all night...

2007-06-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Like an owl?"

"Yes, a vampire owl."

As promised, the "Jamestown Rocks" compilation featuring a mixture of music gleaned from odd conversations, karaoke, and other inspirations. Enjoy!

No one seems to be blogging much lately.

2007-06-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

So I'll just talk a little about the widget on my blog. It's quilt of all of the musci that I'm listening to currently. Nothing much, but it'll help you readers see just how nerdy I am. You can get one too at LastFM.com.

Upcoming post will be another mixtape dedicated to the Jamestown crew.

Stumble Upon some good music.

2007-05-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

First, go to this link.

Using the navigation on the left, you get random music to fit your mood. If you don't like the song, just click again, or find one you want on the screen.

2007-05-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

Long week last week. Too many hours at work, I ended up sleeping most of the weekend away. I did manage to mow the lawn, a huge feat for me, especially since Slea didn't have to nag me about it.
Mazzy got upset that I killed some ants yesterday. We were going around turning up rocks and found a huge nest of them under several of them. There were eggs and about 1 million (Mazzy's estimate) ants crawling around, and turing up their rocks upset them so they were all out running in full force. Slea made me break out some insecticide to take care of them. Later, Mazzy said that she was sorried about the baby ants. I had told her that the ants were hiding the eggs after we disturbed them. She reasoned that the eggs were safe since the ants took them all the way down to the earth's core.
Well, looks like I'm heading into another week without a day off, but if I can swing it, I'll try to make it down for another Chimpcasting. Is everyone listening to them> They're also available for download on the odeo site. Just follow this link for the archives of all the Chimpcasting shows.

Also, hidden happy faces...

Tuesdays Chimpcasting...

2007-05-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

powered by ODEO

It's been a busy week, so maybe a real update this weekend. Until then, don't lose any tampons.

Here's a fun game though.

Everyone's copying the food blog!

2007-04-27T02:25:00.000-07:00

1- Can you cook? If yes, do you like to cook?
I love cooking. It's like meditation to me. Even when I'm scrambling to make a full Thanksgiving dinner for 20, I get relaxed during the cooking process.

2 - When does your whole family come together to eat?Very, very, extremely rarely

3 - What do you have for breakfast?
I work such odd hours, that I don't have a schedule where I eat "breakfast". I'm just as likely to have chicken potstickers as I am eggs and bacon.

4 - How often do you eat out?
I go out often, but I rarely eat. It's usually coffee, unless it's out with the family.

5 - How often do you order-in or take-away?
Monthly, if that.

6 - Re: 5 & 6 - If money was no question, would you like to do it more often?
I'd love to eat at really good restaurants more often. I enjoy the experience of a good meal out.

7- Are there any quarrels because of food?
Mostly it's after the fact. (Put your dishes in the kitchen. Put your dishes in the kitchen! Put your dishes in the kitchen!!!)

8 - Are you vegetarian or can you imagine living vegetarian?
I tried it, but I love meat too much. And really, animals have no souls so it's OK to eat them.

9 - What would you like to try out that you haven't dared yet?
Where do I begin? Balut, durian, absinthe, the list goes on. I'm really not afraid to try any food as long as it won't kill me.

10 - Would you rather cook or bake?
I'd like ot learn how to bake bread, but I'd still cook stove top or grill mostly.

11 - What do your kids like to eat best? What would your kids never eat?
Butter noodles, hot dogs, peanut butter sandwiches, salads (as long as there is ranch dressing), and other general unhealthy foods. Princess M won't eat anything with visible spices on it, and Roto won't eat things if she won't.

12 - What do you dislike most?
Overly complicated foods.

13-what are you hungry for right now?
Scrapple. I'll probably never get to have it again. My grandma made it every Sunday and we had it after church.

Life. What a precious gift, like boobs or rockets.

2007-04-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

If you've got a half hour to kill, watch this. Trust me.

A local man shot a zombie film mere miles from where I live. Looks crappy and low budget, but might be worth checking out.

Brad Pitt is producing the film for Max Brooks' novel World War Z, a book that takes place after a world wide zombie outbreak. Max' previous novel is the factual fictional Zombie Survival Guide. The screenplay is being written by J. Michael Straczynski of Babylon 5 fame.

And don't forget, if confronted by a zombie, a swift blow to the head should take them down.

A very special episode of Chimpcasting.

2007-04-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

powered by ODEO

Chimp and I bust out with some insightful commentary on Imus, Virginia Tech, and racism. And there's some good music thrown in to boot.

Imus really isn't the bad guy.

2007-04-14T05:46:00.000-07:00

Jason Whitlock, sports writer for the Kansa City Star, wrote a piese on the biggest racist story since Michael Richards went on his tirade in a comedy club.

Read the story here, then read on through my post.

Oddly enough, I caught the whole scene on the Imus show that morning. I usually flip atound between news stations all day, and happened to catch it. My first thought was "Oooh, that's not a nice thing to say." But my comment wasn't about the nappy-headed hos remark, rather about the jiggaboo staement made by Imus' producer.

Now, I'm not saying that Imus was correct in using those words, because apparently they carry some racist tones. Personally, I never had thought of "Nappy-haired" being used negatively towards blacks. I thought that it meant dirty, which still isn't nice, but it went along with his previous comment about the players being "tough looking". It wasn't until after the whole deal blew up that I learned that it was directed at black hair. Then, as I started learning more about it through the internet, I learned about a number of uses for "nappy hair" in positive ways. From childrens' books to hair salons to cancer foundations, all use the term.

It wasn't until later that I started to get pissed about this situation. Many leaders in the black community stood up calling Imus a racist and demanded his firing. Well, it did happen, but not in the way they wanted. After advertisers started pulling out of the show, CBS decided to terminate Don's contract. Money talks.

So, my main point is that Don isn't the bad guy. How many of the Rutgers' girls went home that weekend and popped in the latest Ludacris album? How many of them saw Carlos Mencia or Dave Chappelle on TV and laughed at their racial humor? One of the women was quoted as saying the whole incident has "scarred her for life." The real tragedy to the team occurred when they bought in to the victim role instead of trying to turn it into a positive chance for the team. The real villains here are not those who spew the hate, but those who take the opportunity to gain more than they deserve from the incident. Al Sharpton, I'm looking at you...

13 tattoos I'm glad I don't have.

2007-04-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

Before Slea and I met, I had a bad tattoo. Now, I'm thankful for both tribal cover-ups and a lack of money when I was young. So now I present, 13 Tattoos I'm Glad I Don't Have:

WTF It's another Caturday!

2007-03-31T06:31:00.000-07:00

Cat goes scuba diving.

So, it's been a short week, only being at work for 60 hours instead of the usual 70-80. We've got lots of new EMT's at the ambulance, so it's taken a load off of me. I did take a crazy woman to Kankakee this week. She called me a stupid fuck. I told her to be nice since I was driving. The woman who rode with her is a retired prison guard and a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. The woman started blowing her some static and when my partner said what she did the woman shut up for the rest of the trip. I think "Speedy" told her about breaking some inmates arm once. It turned out to be a nice quiet drive through the country.

And, it's a DOUBLE POST WEDNESDAY!

2007-03-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

I just came across this on a message board. It's a live webcam, with sound, of a watering hole in Africa. I've been watching it off and on for an hour or so, and I've seen 2 hyenas and a snake. It's definitely worth checking out, but remember that it's halfway around the world for us...

OMG here's the link!

So one of my nephew's friends got busted shoplifting...

2007-03-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

and it reminded me of a joke I saw on LUE.

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

The president of Iran has his own blog...and it's a new Caturday!

2007-03-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Extra the kitten is born with 26 toes.

Now, on to the blog.

Link here

It's....interesting. I'm not really sure how to take this guy. He claimed that the Holocaust didn't happen, wants to nuke Israel, but at the same time I've got some strange kind of respect for the guy. The most recent post is a good read. It's a response to a letter from a woman here in the US.

If it pops up in Arabic, then check under his picture on the top right for an English link (or French or Persian).

*waves to the Homeland Security agent reading my blog now that I've linked to a terrorist website*

Chimp and Gab slaughter some pigs. Meat is good.

2007-03-13T00:38:00.000-07:00

powered by ODEO

I wish I could remember what all we talked about, but I do know that a good amount of time was spent on pig slaughter. Bacon is far tastier than Vegemite. Even vegetarians and carnivores can agree to that.

Chuck E. Cheese, where a dad can be a kid.

2007-03-10T22:49:00.000-08:00

I love Chuck E. Cheese. Seriously. When I was a youngster, I can only remember going there once. It sucked too, because my prents only sent me with a few dollars, so I spent most of the day watching other kids play their games. I do remember that I got enough tickets to get a plastic paratrooper toy, with a slingshot to launch him in the air.

So I took Mazzy there today for a little father/daughter time. She had a gift card that she turned into tokens, and I got a handful myself. We played a ton of games: air hockey, skee-ball, and what not. The arcade games at our store kind of suck. The Star Wars pod racer game always wants to veer left, and the Jurassic park shooter bounces and jerks so much that one gets thrown from the seat if they're not planted well. There is a cool mini-kart racer that's fun to play. Lots of nice courses and it's actually a challenge to drive properly.

Mazzy beat me in air hockey, but I won on the duck gallery so we called it even. She ended up with 110 tickets for the day. She bought a mini-bubble set, a ring, and got a ring and a toy snake for her brother. She even got a new Chuck E. cup for Roto.

All in all, it was a good time. There were some stressful moments, like the white trash broad letting her baby crawl on the skee-ball lane next to the one we were playing on. That damn brat kept getting over into Mazzy's lane. I almost wished that she'd hit it. There was also this one girl wearing a crown who pushed in front of Mazzy on one of the rides. "It's my brithday and I get to ride this now" she said. Mazzy looked at me and I just shrugged. Mazz said that someone that mean wouldn't be her friend. O_o

Anyway, back to work now. Blogging from work FTW!

Humpday, dontcha know?

2007-03-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

300 comes out this weekend.

Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright have a new flick coming out soon, Hot Fuzz.

Eating in space can kill you. (RIP Jek Porkins)

The 2008 presidential campaigns are in full swing now. I kind of wish Howard Dean was running again, I miss him.

X-Men issue #200 is coming out with a very sexy cover.

And speaking of comics, one of America's finest heros passed away this week.

And another great hero's tomb was possibly found.

And finally, I got a haircut. Happy humpday!

Can you name all 50 states in 10 minutes?

2007-03-05T08:54:00.000-08:00

If you click the link, the time starts right away, so be ready. Spelling counts.

CLICK HERE IF YOU'RE READY!

I got 47, not too bad.

A funny EMT story.

2007-03-03T00:34:00.000-08:00

We had a high school student the other day as a ride along for their class time. I had just settled in for my nap when the pagers went off.

"Duffy Ambulance, ambulance needed at blahblahblah St. for a 65 year old female unresponsive but breathing."

So we all hop in the ambulance and take off. The student is in back giggling, but I ignore it. We get to the scene and everything is fine. The woman fainted, but really had nothing else wrong with her. We took her to the ER anyway. As I was filling out the paperwork, my partner asked her what the joke was.

"I thought the page said 'butt-breathing'."

Now I'll never get that out of my head.

Oh yeah, a little story about Al Gore.

2007-02-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

Al Gore has some interesting revelations about his electric bills...

Million dollar ideas.

2007-02-27T22:54:00.000-08:00

Some of my cow-orkers (yes that is a word) at the ambulance service are in the process of getting a new type of C-collar designed. So, I've been inspired to post about my million dollar ideas.

1. Smoking booths - In many places smoking indoors is illegal. With a smoking booth, a person could pay $1 or so for 7 minutes inside an area that has HEPA and charcoal filtering, thus preventing any smoke from getting inside the rest of the building. The smoker is then saved from having to go out in the rain or snow for a fag. BONUS - the walls of the booth could be used for advertising space. Perfect for bars.

2. Tater Dawgs - Imagine a hot dog, covered in mashed potatoes, bacon, cheese and green onions, then deep fried. Perfect for Texas State Fairs.

3. Dehydrated salsa - Perfect for camping. I did see a similar product being pitched in a newspaper, so I guess I'm too late here.

4. GPS Keychains - Using an RFID chip in your car, you can easily locate it in a crowded lot if you forget where it was. The keychain has a digital readout with an arrow pointing the way. RFID chips are small and thin enough to be placed behind a label, so they could be used by insurace companies, dealerships, or others in advertising stickers in or on the car.

5. Zombie Survival Shirts - would have to be tied into a movie release. Based on the population of survivors, zombies, and deaths in the film, people would get a random shirt stating "I AM A ZOMBIE IN (insert movie)", "I SURVIVED THE ZOMBIE OUTBREAK IN (movie)", or "I GOT EATEN BY A ZOMBIE IN(movie)". People would pay a minimal amount of money for the shirts, 5 dollars or so, and get one randomly sent to them. The survivor shirts could easily go as collector items if the movie was popular.

6. Zombie College - Imagine a school solely designed to teach us how to survive an outbreak of zombies, from initial infection to post apocolyptical survival. In real world terms, the school would focus on training in law enforcement skills, hand gun and rifle training, martial arts with a focus on weapon use, paramedic level first aid, survival techniques, machine and engine repair, carpentry from raw materials, canning food, hunting and trapping, and other classes. The key is to tie it in to Zombie survival. Who wouldn't want to say that they graduated with a degree from Zombie College?

Some other friends of mine have their own ideas:

Bluetooth headsets shaped like Star Trek communicators
Foreign language baby talk tapes
Talking tombstones

Got any others to add?

Just in case you ever wanted to know...

2007-02-26T03:22:00.000-08:00

the comparative sizes of space ships in several fictional universes.

2+2=5, or a brief essay on "Inconvenience".

2007-02-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

" In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. And what was terrifiying was not that they would kill you for thinking otherwise, but that they might be right. For, after all, how do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is unchangeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then?"

George Orwell wrote in "1984" about a state where all information provided to the public was first written, re-written, or fabricated by the Ministry of Truth. Today, we live in a society not ruled not by an ever present "Big Brother", but an elected democracy. Hopefully, they follow our beliefs that we elect them to follow, but it doesn't always happen.

What I often find now, is that beliefs are easily swayed in the public. Often, the result of this shift is due to media, television, or movies. I recently ran into one of these shifts in belief in my own home. "An Inconvenient Truth", Al Gore's documentary on global warming, has made Slea into a new ecophile. She proceeded one morning to berate me about global warming and what we do to destroy the earth and we should change everything we do or else there will be no planet for our children. etc etc etc...

I got pissed for several reasons. First, I had worked all night, and was preparing for another 10 hour shift with the ambulance. Second, she started in on me upstairs in the bedroom, I told her I was tired and had had a bad night, so she follwed me downstairs and continued to berate me about my bad habits. Finally, she was basing all of her argument on this one movie. I know that she's smart enough to find the truth out eventually, but I know that there are too many impressionable people out there, especially the 18-21 year olds, who will take this movie as the truth and not even question the facts. I'm not arguing that global warming is a myth perpetrated by left-wing, sandal wearing, dope smoking hippy scientists. I know that it's a fact that we're contiributing to the problem of global warming, and that changes in our impact on the environment need to be changed, but I also know that one-sided "documentaries" don't get all of the facts out there.

What if someone came up to you and said 2+2=5? You'd think that they were crazy. What if 10 people did that? They'd all be wrong. Now continue to take it up in number to 100, 10 thousand, 1 million, 1 billion. At what point does the false statement become fact? What if the people telling you the fact that 2+2=5 were authority figures, or were teaching this to students without any mathematical background. You know that it's not possible for two plus two to equal five, but 6 billion people can't be wrong, right? The truth can be changed, not easily, but it can be done. Whether through news, science, or philosphy, facts can be presented to create any belief you want. Through the ignorance of people seeing this movie, taking it as truth, and not looking at all the facts out there, we may get to a point where two plus two does equal five.

Several points in "Inconvenient" are brought up as facts proving that global warming exists. Glacial melt, ice cap retreat, Arctic core samples, and severe weather are some of the changes that our planet is going through. I intend to show other scientific views, contradictory to those presented in the movie.

Gore does an excellent job discussing the ice caps of Greenland and Antarctica. Again, Gore's graphics are superb, and he does a nice job narrating. He shows animations of what a 20-foot rise in sea level would do to Manhattan, Florida, India, and China. A 20-foot sea level rise is what we expect if all of Greenland or all of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet were to melt. Such a 20-foot rise is not expected by 2100, and it would have been appropriate for Gore to acknowledge that the consensus of climate scientists--as published in the most recent report by the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC)--is that sea level is likely to rise between 4 and 35 inches, with a central value of 19 inches, by 2100. He should have also mentioned that temperatures in Greenland in the 1930s were about as warm as today's temperatures, so the current melting of Greenland's glaciers does have historical precedent.

Gore shows an impressive series of "then and now" images documenting the widespread retreat of many glaciers over the past century. Most dramatically, he shows Kenya's Mt. Kilimanjaro, whose 11,000 year-old glaciers are almost gone. While not all the world's glaciers have retreated in the past century, Gore's presentation is an effective and reasonable way to show how global warming has affected the majority of the world's glaciers.

But why are the tropical glaciers in Africa melting and retreating? A glacier is like your bank account. Whether your wealth is growing or dwindling depends on how much money you deposit vs. how much you withdraw each year. The Kilimanjaro glaciers are nearing bankruptcy, but is this due to excessive withdrawals or insufficient savings? Gore's movie would have you believe that global warming (withdrawals) is the reason for the glacial melt. However, as Andy Revkin writes in his March 23, 2004 article:

"We have a mere 2.5 years of actual field measurements from Kilimanjaro glaciers, unlike many other regions, so our understanding of their relationship with climate and the volcano is just beginning to develop", Dr. Douglas R. Hardy, a geologist at the University of Massachusetts and an author of the paper, wrote by e-mail. "Using these preliminary findings to refute or even question global warming borders on the absurd." In short, Kilimanjaro may be a photogenic spokesmountain "no matter what the climatic agenda" but it is far from ideal as a laboratory for detecting human-driven warming. The debate over it obscures the nearly universal agreement among glacier and climate experts that glaciers are retreating all over the world, probably as a result of the greenhouse-gas buildup. "

And so Gore uses data that is, in the scientific community, not necessarily proof of a global catastrophe. While ignoring the larger problem, I believe that using these scare tactics draws the viewers' attention away from the facts about real issues in global warming.

The biggest failure in the movie's presentation of science comes in the discussion hurricanes and severe weather events. The devastation wrought by Katrina is used to very dramatic effect to warn of the dangers climate change presents. We are told that Katrina grew "stronger and stronger and stronger" as it passed over the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico that were heated up by global warming. We are told that global warming is increasing the intensity of hurricanes, but not provided information on the great amount of uncertainty and vigorous scientific debate on this issue. Graphs showing recent record insurance losses from natural disasters are presented, but no mention is made of how increasing population and insistence on building in vulnerable areas are the predominant factors causing recent high insurance claims from disasters such as Katrina. Gore points to some unprecedented events in 2004 as evidence of increasing severe weather events worldwide--the record 10 typhoons in Japan, the most tornadoes ever in the U.S., and the appearance of Brazil's first hurricane ever. However, examples of this kind are meaningless. No single weather event, or unconnected series of severe weather events such as Gore presents, are indicative of climate change. In particular, the IPCC has not found any evidence that climate change has increased tornado frequency, or is likely to. Gore doesn't mention the unusually quiet tornado season of 2005, when for the first time ever, no tornadoes were reported in Oklahoma in the month of May.

But what of our efforts to combat global warming? As I said, I know that it's real and not a boogeyman monster created to get us into hybrid cars. But where do we go from here? Obviously, global warming didn't happen in the past 10 years of aerosol use, it's been going on for years. We are paying for the sins of our fathers, their scientific advances in the industrial revolution paved the way for our current state of technology. Yet their advances also caused our environmental problems. So we are left, not only trying to understand what is happening to our climate, but also trying to improve our impact on the environment. The scientific community is working to improve alternative fuel sources, emissions regulations, energy consumption, and the like. But as I asked Slea the other morning, "Where do we go? Do we put ourselves back in the stone age or try to keep advancing?"

I feel that the first action is to be informed. Look at all sides of the spectrum, not just the facts presented in one case. Talk about issues with friends and family. Read, read, read. Do anything you can to keep on top of issues and advances in this problem. Second, act on what you can. Act locally, starting with your own home. Recycle, reduce energy use, and teach your family on what they can do to help. gradually look at what you can do to help in your community, expanding your circle of influence as much as possible. Finally, do what you can to keep advancing the research into global warming. The easiest way for us Americans is to vote. Too many people ignore this right, but feel free to complain about the state of the country.

As I said before, if enough people believe that 2+2=5, it will eventually become the truth. It can be true technnically, but I'll save that for another post. It is up to us to keep false statements from becoming fact. Here are a few sites to help you study more on global climate changes.

http://www.wunderground.com/
http://www.realclimate.org/
http://climate.weather.com/blog/

Goalie drops pants during game...

2007-02-21T22:04:00.000-08:00

Story here.

If the Prairie Thunder goalie would do that, Slea would want to go to more games...

When Garfield doesn't talk, the comic gets even sadder.

2007-02-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

The folks over at Tailsteak.com have begun transcribing the entire Garfiled library to focus on life through Jon's eyes. It really takes on a new meaning, changing from the life of a sarcastic, lazy feline to a lonely delusional man and his cat. And if you want to help them, they take submissions. (I'm directing this at you Mr. Social!)

What's on my MP3 player?

2007-01-29T10:38:00.000-08:00

1. Clerks 2 soundtrack: not so much for the music, but the movie quotes.
2. Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko: Punk/pop/electro. It's like New Order meets Evanescence (not the best description, but I'm tired)
3. Cowboy Bebop soundtrack: Lots of jazz and Japanese.
4. DangerDoom - The Mouse and the Mask: MF Doom and DJ Dangermouse come together for an entire rap album dedicated to Adult Swim cartoons.
5. Depeche Mode - Violator: I was having high school flashbacks.
6. The Breeders - Saints single and Pod: See #5
7. The Pixies - Wave of Mutilation: See #6
8. Various YTMND Soundtracks - YTMND.com is probably the 7th greatest website ever invented. Links to soundtracks can be found here.
9. Daft Punk -Discovery: Mazzy's favorite group.
10. Flyleaf - Fully Alive: Heavy metal from Texas. The lead singer is this little girl who looks like a mini-Avril Lavigne.
11. Ministry of Sound - 2006 Clubber's Anthems: Best workout music ever.
12. Ni Hao! - New Hao!: Japanese all-girl punk rock.

13 things that are starting to get really lame.

2007-01-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

Maxim had an article on the 50 lamest thing, but I'm keeping it short.

13. White trash goatees - Kid Rock made these look even stupider than they were to begin with. If you can't get an "Evil Spock" goatee, don't grow one.

12. White boys with 'fros - Didn't look good on Peter Frampton in the 70's, it didn't look good on Napoleon Dynamite, it doesn't look good on you. Only Bob Ross can pull of the 'fro.

11. Star Wars hate - All right look, there's only one return, okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi." Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano. -- Randall Graves

10. Tiny pet dogs - especially chihuahuas. They serve no fucking purpose.

9. Gwen Stefani - It's breaking my heart to say this, but her current attempt to rape musicals and turn them into pop/techno songs is a terrible idea. Gwen, if you're reading this, please go back to being the super-geek queen we all grew to love!

8. MTV - People in Maui are furious over the portrayal of their youth in MTV's newest "reality" show. After the travesty of many of their other new shows, I alomst look forward to the 17th edition of the Real World vs. Road Rules challenges.

7. Police Dramas on TV - I thought that the Hospital ones were getting out of hand, but now there are (by my count) 8 different police dramas, and those are only the ones with Jerry Orbach RIP.

6. White Rappers - If you ain't MC Paul Barman, stick with the boy bands.

5. Starbucks - This is an excerpt from a real debate on another message board: "le j.- we know what an actual macchiato is. a carmel macchiato is doused in carmel and is not by definition a macchiato- it is an upside down vanilla latte with carmel. we agree it is silly to call it one. but that doesn't mean you aren't a completly snobby asshole. you are the reason people are intimidated about ordering in coffee shops in the first place. does being a jerk make you feel better about yourself, you pathetic dickhead?". In my world, coffee will come in 2 flavors, regular and decaf. And decaf is for the pussies.

4. "Scary" Japanese ghosts - Japan must be pretty fucking haunted to get this many ghosts. And the way that they are infiltrating the current movie culture here in the west is starting to be annoying. I liked the Ring, I liked Ju-on, but I can only be freaked out by the same stringy haired girl so many times.

3. Garfield

2. Japanese cartoons that have been "Americanized" - 4Kidz is the worst of all. So many great cartoons are being sanitized and dumbed down for America's youth.

1. Sopranos on Bravo - I was so fricking excited to see the goshdarn show, but it's so fricking watered down that I can't enjoy what those sonsuvbeaches are talking about.

A banana has 2 uses...

2007-01-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

Seriously, Garfield must be written just so people will edit the comics.

Wii got a WE! Wait, scratch that, reverse it.

2007-01-22T22:02:00.000-08:00

So princess surprised me on Friday with a Wii. We made a short trip to Bloomington for last minute party supplies on Friday morning. On the way, we stopped off at the local bowling alley so she could peddle her wares to the guys there. They all love the hemp hand cream, and most were running low. Also, I got a nice bonus check from work, so we had some extra scratch.

When we got home, she had to run out to K-Mart for some other last minute things. I had already been up pretty much since Wednesday @ 10 pm, so I was getting tired. She had a party Friday night, and we had a baby sitter lined up, so I was planning on going to bed when she got home.

"You'll probably want to stay up" she told me when she got home. It took a few minutes for me to realize what she meant (she basically had to hold the bag with the Wii in front of my face).

So, I spent the next few hours mucking around with the Wii. It's addicting. It came with a sports package game that has bowling, golf, baseball, tennis, and boxing. All are very cool, but they're mainly just demo style games without much substance. She also got a fishing game for it. Also, there's a virtual console that allows you to download and play older Nintendo games. Everything is so cool about the Wii.

So, I'm waiting for some upcoming birthdays to get some more games. I need to get the kids and princess involved in it, so far none of them have played it. Slea expressed some interest in playing, but so far hasn't. Maybe she'll get into the bowling first, since we had a discussion on the way down to Bloomington about how she was in a bowling league as a kid.

The age of consent in Kentucky isn't what you think it is.

2007-01-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

Chimp and Gab discuss India's plight: Tiny penises.

2006-12-11T05:14:00.000-08:00

We definitely need a Wii.

2006-12-08T13:42:00.000-08:00

2006-12-06T05:28:00.000-08:00

Much to the delight of gamers everywhere (and chagrin of significant others...) the Nintendo Wii and Playstation3 have finally come out in the US. In Japan, the Wii owner's manual came with a set of "Do not's" that were hilariously illustrated, as seen on the left. Don't let your kids chew on the cords, we get it. Don't use a cracked CD, ok. Don't stick shamrocks in it? Whatever. But, there are many other classic pics here.

Then, someone took it a step further. The "lost" Wii pages have been found.

Also, I'm not going to get either one any time soon. I'm a sad panda...

I've been disappointed with the PS3 reviews and the price that they go for. The Wii looks like it would be awesome to play, but I think I need to convince Princess to get one. She needs to see some real gameplay of it, maybe the will convince her.

Happy Caturday!

2006-12-02T13:32:00.000-08:00

Again, it's Caturday. And it's another link!

So it was my birthday yesterday. Why do birthdays suck more and more each year? It can't be the old age. Yesterday, I worked 12 hours at the printing plant, got sleet and rain and ice and snow for 16 hours, had no power for a few of those, and no cable for most of it. But, after my long day, I got to come home to Mazzy telling me "Merry Christmas-I mean, Happy Birthday Dad!"

It's another Chimpcasting! Exfoliating and hardcore footballing!

2006-11-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

Day 3 of bachelorhood.

2006-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

First, I totally slept through Caturday! So here's an old link that I love.

I gave my cat an enema.

Secondly, I'm missing out on a totally great time with Galoot and P-Girl. Slea got there OK. She's had a couple of parties. They saw the improv group. My boyfriend out there misses me. The kids are having a great time together, and Princess Princess Doodle has written her first book. Maybe next year she'll sign up for NaNoWriMo.

Well, hope everyone out in J-town has a good time and doesn't forget about me at home all by myself.

So, I get to be a bachelor this weekend.

2006-11-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

Princess and the monkeybrigadelettes are heading out east to see Preppygirl, galoot, their spawn, and the rest of that crew. So I'm left home alone for the weekend. What's a man to do? Well, I got talked into working the overnight shift at the ambulance. 6 PM Saturday night to 6 AM Sunday morning. We're bachelors baby!

I know it's not Caturday, but everyone must see this!

2006-11-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

Kitten Huffing is taking the youth drug culture by storm. Something must be done to stop this.

Have a Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T09:22:00.000-08:00

Don't party too hard.

The weekend's here!

2006-10-28T13:53:00.000-07:00

That means it's Caturday!

Sunday's Chimpcasting Radio Show!!! Now with 120% more sex for your pleasure!

2006-10-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

powered by ODEO

Chimp, Arty, Ruthie, Joanie, and myself. I get so drunk that I know my voice gets pretty slurred at the end. I've got about a 6-pack in me before the show even starts. It really goes downhill about 2 hours in due to alcohol consumption.

WARNING! The broadcast does contain adult content and language, some of which is not safe for children or work.

Garfield without the cat is so depressing.

2006-10-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Click for full size pics.

A link, a rant, and a mixtape.

2006-10-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Forgot to TiVo your favorite show? This site has a few choices now, but all the shows and movies can be watched in your browser using the same video software as YouTube or Google Video. Slea just caught the new episode of Lost today. She said it was fair quality. I've been watching old episodes of Futurama with Roto.

So, I'm sure that you can tell by Slea's com plaining that I've been busy. I've easily been putting in 60-80 hour weeks. But, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't do it. But all this work has gotten me to thinking lately about my dad. He was a grocery store manager for as long as I could remember. He would work long hours, usually 6 days a week, just to get food on our table. We weren't poor, but definitely not rich. My mom made bread all the time, and some of our frequent meals were SOS and scrapple. She also worked (when they were still married) a series of odd jobs throughout her "career". But what I remember most about my dad was him working a lot. He never really got involved much in my life until I was in high school. I think it was mostly because I failed at sports, but that may not be the case. Now, I haven't spoken to him in probably 9 years. There's no anger or hate, but really there's nothing. And it's kind of sad. But now that I'm older and a father, I'm beginning to see why he was like that. I tend to judge my self worth by my job. It's a poor way of doing it, but I feel like shit when I'm not working and earning for my family. I want to make sure they're well off. I want them to never want for anything, and that's why I keep my "real" job at RRD. But there's a part of me that wants to do what I want, and that's be an EMT. Unfortunately, it may as well be volunteer, as little as it pays. It's a tough call, because I want to be with my family, but I find that because of my "real" job that I'm totally stressed and have a short temper for even the smallest things. I don't want to be like that around my kids, so being out and away makes it easier for me to avoid lashing out when I'm stressed. Getting back to my dad, I'm sure that's how he was too. His job was similar to mine now, lots of responsibility, accountability for production and your crew, and having to be in charge of and rely on a bunch of potheads who are too lazy to keep themselves clean enough to keep a job in fast food (I shouldn't say that, I like my crew that I work with, and they're not all potheads). It's stressful, but that's what I get for not finishing college. I'm sure that's what he went through too.

Anyway, I promised a mixtape, so here it is. Just in time for Halloween, a mix of robots, serial killers, ghosts, werewolves, zombies, and sweet tranvestites for your listening pleasure. And Morrissey. But I digress, here's the track listing for the tape. The tracks aren't tagged well, so they might not show up with proper names in iTunes, WinAMP, or other media players, but it's free so deal with it. And at right around 72 minutes, it should fit nicely onto a CD-R for easy portability.

Track 00 - Dialogue
Track 01 - Cheekyboy - Halloween with Morrissey
Track 02 - The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Science Fiction Double Feature
Track 03 - Dialogue
Track 04 - Freezepop - Robotorn 2000
Track 05 - The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
Track 06 - The RIAA - The Urge to Talk to Your Food
Track 07 - RJD2 - Ghostwriter
Track 08 - Party Ben - Walking with a Ghost in Paris (Teagan and Sara vs. Mylo)
Track 09 - Isaac (Found tape) - Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Track 10 - Q Lazzarus - Goodbye Horses (Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard!)
Track 11 - Yasunori Mitsuda - Bobonga (the Brian Peppers Theme)
Track 12 - Aphex Twin - Come to Daddy (Pappy Mix)
Track 13 - Air - Suicide Underground
Track 14 - Kernkraft 400 - Zombie Nation (Osymyso Mix)
Track 15 - Dialogue
Track 16 - Johnathon Coulton - RE: Your Brains
Track 17 - Cheekyboy - The Man Comes Around in Blue Jeans (Johnny Cash vs. Ladytron)
Track 18 - Phantom Planet - The Living Dead
Track 19 - Dialogue
Track 20 - Cheekyboy - American Werewolves in London (Warren Zevon vs. Credence Clearwater Revival)
Track 21 - Ronald Stein and Lon Cheney Jr - Theme from Spiderbaby

Now, download this shit already!

Quick 5 minute post with some suggestions for you...

2006-08-31T12:20:00.000-07:00

First, if you haven't already, download WinAMP.

Second, listen regularly to Radio KoL.

Third, listen to Chimp on BoogieChimpRadio on Sunday: 5pm - 7pm Central US time, 11pm - 1am UK time, Tuesday: 7pm - 9pm Central US, 1am - 3 am UK, Thursday 7-9pm Central.

Fourth, when you aren't doing any of that, visit Cheekyboy for some of the best downloads. He's easily the best mash DJ out there. Or you can get the Best of Bootie album or visit the RIAA (Really Interesting Audio Adventures or Recording Industries Are Archaic for those in the know). Trust me.

Finally, to experience the best of the internet fad songs in 5 megs or less, right click here.

So the girl lost a tooth this weekend...plus a 13 list.

2006-08-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

She looks so damn cute with that gap in her smile. I think her brother is jealous.

I get to work as an EMT at a football game tonight. Should be a blast . Hopefully I get to see my old calculus teacher there and show her how much L'Hopital's rule and fundamental theorem of calculus did for me.

So I'm going to do my 13 list. 13 most memorable teachers from my school years:

13. Mrs Coleman, kindergarten. She was "a drunk" according to my mom. This was before my mom got heavy into the sauce. Mrs. Coleman made me sit in the corner for doing an impression of a narwhal. I had just seen a book with them and impersonated the horn with my middle finger. I had no idea that there was another connotation to that hand gesture. Bitch.

12. Mrs Attig, 3rd grade. She made me start writing right-handed. I think she was married to an ex-Nazi.

11. Mr Degussa, freshman English. He would go for long runs every day, but when questioned in class about it, he denied it. He claimed to be running behind the math building with other teachers to smoke cigarettes. He also brought a cat to school on accident. It climbed into his engine and rode all the way to school. It was unharmed. He felt he had to give it a lucky name, so he called it "Diesel".

10. Mrs Sanford, 2nd grade. I remember this one girl who was ill-behaved in class. Mrs Sanford tied her to a chair once. It was funny. Later on, the girl spit on my soccer ball.

9. Mrs. Law, 4th grade. She made us watch Mr. Rogers once. In 4th grade.

8. Mrs. Garrett, 8th grade AP English. For some reason, she had us do a study on the painting "Nude Descending a Staircase". I've never liked art since then.

7. Mr. Garrett, principal, Mt. Vernon Township High School. He was a substitute teacher as well as principal. He filled in for my Economics teacher freshman year, and made econ even more boring than it already was to begin with.

6. Mrs. Lower, sophomore English. We got off on the wrong foot when I mentioned that Walt Whitman was a homosexual. I didn't know that her husband, another teacher at my school, had been arrested on child molestation charges. She didn't care too much for me after that. I think that she's the reason that I never made it into National Honors Society.

5. Mrs. Jones, Junior Speech. She made us take turns doing daily 5 minutes speeches. One girl did her speech on euthanasia. It was touching because the girl tlaked about her grandmother wanting to die and the doctors kept treating her cancer and blah blah blah. Another student did one on Auschwitz. So I did my speech later that week on body odor. Mrs Jones thanked me after class for picking such a light-hearted topic after the previous speech. She later asked is I'd do my next speech on something similar. So I picked foot odor. It was awesome.

4. Bob McKenzie, theater. I never had him as a teacher. However, he directed a ton of my plays. He's "queer as a 3 dollar bill" but very cool. He's what you picture an old drag queen turns in to after he can't pass as a woman very well. He's also a good director, but a terrible actor. I played the part of Flint in "Something's Afoot", Conrad Birdie in "Bye Bye Birdie", and did stage work on several of his other plays.

3. Mr. Burnett, senior AP History. He had a strange accent, very nasally and with 3-year old type mispronunciations. But when he spoke, you could tell that he put a lot of thought into the words he chose. The voice took a lot from it though. He said "rayrode" for railroad and talked incessantly about Yvonne, his wife and Gigi, the dog. He taught all kinds of social studies classes and coached debate. My friend Pat got drunk on one debate trip and kept offering him the half eaten crusts from his pizza. I've heard that she's since divorced him. Princess got a few cool pictures at his garage sale though.

2. Mrs. Harding, sophomore geometry. I always tried to work the transitive property into all of my proofs. She always tried to mark me wrong or give me partial credit for the problems. I always fought each one to the bitter end.

1. Mrs. Rolf, junior Trig, junior Pre-Calc, senior Calculus. I had a huge crush on her. Everything with a penis did. Everything with a vagina was jealous of her. I think she's like 70 now and I'd probably still do her. She's had a lot of work done though. I almost got expelled from school for saying a few "erotic" things about her in an interview in the school newspaper. Good times...

I've learned something new today.

2006-08-25T06:17:00.000-07:00

Kitler is a new word for me.

2006-08-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-08-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

Ah shit, guess I'm going to do a list now too...

From Princess' blog.

1. Who was your first prom date? Stacza Lipinski, my junior year. We dated forever, so I've got a feeling she'll be on a few more answers....

2. Who was your first roommate? Frank Lambrecht. I went to the Illinois Math and Science Academy my sophomore year of high school. He was a nut from Cicero who liked sauerkraut, Apple IIe computers, and mohawks. But his parents wouldn't let him get one, so he had a faux-hawk. He'd even iron his hair to get it right.

3. What was your first alcoholic drink? Probably one of my dad's beers. I wasn't much of a drinker until college, then I hit vodka hard. Too hard.

4. What was your first job? My step-dad used to run a construction company. The guys put up the iron frame work of the buildings. My job was to take a bolt and a nut and screw them together. That way, when the guys were up top, they only had to worry about the one unit instead of two. I was 12. I leterally had a 55 gallon drun of bolt and another of nuts. When I finally emptied the nut barrel, another one showed up a tthe job site the next day.

5. What was your first car? '84 Ford Tempo. I hated that car.

6. What was your first funeral? The first one I remember was my gradmother's funeral. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and died within 2 months.

7. What was your first broken bone? I busted out my front teeth as a kid. Then I busted then out again in college. I've been in a cast twice due to sprained ankles.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Eyre. Can't remember a whole lot about her though.

9. Where was your first airplane ride to? Arizona to see my step-sister and her family. It sucked because it was in the early morning. The flight home was nice though.

10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time? Probably when I was 15, going over to a friend' s house.

11. Who was your first best friend? Tough to say, I moved a lor as a kid and never got to know people too well. I just kind of bounced around.

12. Where was your first sleep over? I used to stay with my cousins all the time. They were my age. Jason had an Intellivision and I'd take my Atari 2600 over and we'd stay up all night. Well, as long as a couple of 7 year olds could stay up anyway.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I don't. I hate talking on the phone.

14. Who's wedding were you in for the first time? My cousin Alissa's wedding. I was kind of like a flower girl, but I was with anothe guy and we unrolled a carpet for the bride to walk down.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? I work 3rd shift, so in the real morning I'm just getting off work and checking out my websites. For my morning, it's usually just rushing to get ready for work.

16. What was the first concert you went to? I supposedly went to 3 Dog Night as a toddler, but I remember seeing Kenny Rogers and the Imperials when I was in preschool.

17. First tattoo or piercing? As Diaree calls it, my "prison tattoo" was a yin-yang on my chest. It was about the size of a half dollar and uneven. I can't believe I even paid the guy for it. It's very well covered now.

18. First celebrity crush? Once upon a time, a show called "Who's the Boss" appeared on the airwaves. I was in love with Alyssa milano from the first time I saw her on TV with the baseball cap and flannel shirt. I'm still totally hot for her.

19. First non-celebrity crush? Heather Hilliard. She was a genius at IMSA, and she was gorgeous. The 3rd day I was there we hung out and I showed her some of my skateboarding tricks. She even gave me a kiss on the cheek. Nothing else came out of it, but we hung out a lot with mutual friends and I was totally infatuated with her.

20. First true love? I hate to copy Diaree, but she's the first person that I've really been totally in love with. Even now, I see her walking in the house with shorts and a t-shirt and her hair messed up and I think that I'm in heaven seeing an angel. She's the whole reason I am waht I am today.

An update to the AOL story.

2006-08-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to link to the actual file that AOL put out, it's well over 400 meg. However here is a site that let's you do a search query through the log. I've been having fun looking up some of the weird shit people have been searching.

279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 1
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 2
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 3
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 4
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 7
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 9
279449 propecia and erections 2006-04-25 12:25:12 1
279449 propecia and erections 2006-04-25 12:25:12 8
279449 is a man turned off if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:29:54
279449 is a man turned on if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:30:08 3
279449 is a man turned on if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:30:08 6
279449 is a man turned on if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:30:08 8
279449 can a blow job help erectile dysfunction 2006-04-25 13:17:01 3
279449 can a blow job help erectile dysfunction 2006-04-25 13:17:01 4
279449 can a blow job help erectile dysfunction 2006-04-25 13:17:01 5
279449 soaking two maxi paid in 2 hours 2006-04-25 14:06:20 1
279449 soaking two maxi paid in 2 hours 2006-04-25 14:07:00
279449 extremely heavy menstrual bleeding 2006-04-25 14:07:38

Someone can't get it up. I wonder if the "extremely heavy menstrual bleeding" has anything to do with her husband being impotent...

I saw a guy lose half of his face the other day.

2006-08-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

So this guy was in a single vehicle wreck on the interstate. He swerved off the left side of the road and clipped the front of a bridge. Then the car slid sideways into the right side of the bridge wall, crossing 2 lanes of traffic. He wasn't wearing his seat belt, but the car had airbags, which definitely saved his life. So the impact (from what we could tell) was him lurching forward, hitting the airbag, bouncing up and hitting the windshield, then slamming into the passenger side door. When we arrived on scene, he was bleeding heavily from the top of his head. His feet were in the drivers side floor area, his butt was in the passenger seat, and his head was slumped against the dash. Blood had begun pooling in the passenger floorboards, running down his arms. He had about a 7 inch avulsion to the scalp starting at the left outer part of his orbital socket and travelling in a lazy "s" shape across his head. He had also split his lip in two, chipped a tooth, and had a 3 inch laceration under his right eye with a subdural hematoma beginning to form under the right eye.

Our hospital is ill-equpped for severe traumas like this, so we knew that we would be transporting him to a level 1 trauma center in another city. I guessed Loyola in the Chicago suburbs, the others said Peoria. They were right. It's about 70 miles to Peoria, and I got to drive. It's quite a rush driving with full lights and sirens 85 mph down the highway, really it's what I love about being an EMT. There's a certain adrenaline rush you get doing this that so many other extreme sports don't give, but I digress...The whole way down to Peoria I haerd a lot of chatter in the back. I had the patient, 2 EMTs and a nurse in the back of the rig and they were all working on his face, keeping his airway clear, controlling bleeding, and checking vitals every 3-5 minutes.

So, we arrive at the ER in Peoria and were greeted with about 20 doctors and nurses. We rushed into the trauma room, and I thought my job was finished. However, after we transferred him to the hospital bed, one of the doctors asked if we would stay and assist with their initial assessment. They needed someone to maintain C-spine while they removed the collar and got xrays. I got voted to stay and work while the others got something to eat (our breakfast got interrupted by the call for the wreck, How RUDE!). I was given a gown and a scrub by the nurses and then began my task of holding this guy's head. Literally, if he had a break somewhere in there and I moved slightly, he could have been killed or paralyzed. It was stressful, but exciting at once. After xrays, I had to stay and hold him for the remaining trauma assessment.Earlier, I mentioned an avulsion. It's what happens when the skin is ripped from the underlying muscle. Use Wikipedia if you want to learn more, Google image if you have a strong stomach. So while I'm holding this guy's head, he's on his back looking at me. Did I mention that he was concious the entire time? He was given a lot of painkillers en route to Peoria, so I knew that he didn't feel any pain, but he kept looking around very lazily. He didn't have any real fear in his looks, just, uh, curious or wonder. I think that he may have been viewing the whole experience like it was a TV show or something.

The doctors began a detailed examination fo his head wounds at this time. He was pretty much bandaged up from his chin to his forehead, save for the nose and left cheek, but they were just dressings and pressure had to be applied to control the bleeding. The doctor removed the one on his chin first. His airway was still patent and in tact, with some blood and mucus in his mouth. His upper lip was split like an upside down V. The nurse began suctioning his mouth a little to get a clean view for the doctor, when the foley got clogged. She pulled it out, and it was a piece of flesh. His tongue had no damage, and the doctor's initial assessment was that this was the area of the upper lip called the philtrum. It was placed on ice to hopefully be used in the reconstruction. I doubt it would be any good, but I'm not a surgeon.Next, the doctors checked out his orbital sockets. Now I knew what that funny feeling was under my right fingers as I held his head for C-spine. His orbital socket had been shattered. The eye wasn't really sitting properly in the socket. Maybe that was the cause for his gaze, I don't know...It was then that I noticed his face sag...One of the nurses yelled that he was "stroking out". Facial droop on one side is a classic sign of a stroke, both during it and for a long time after. The doctor told her to calm down, that it was a result of the avulsion. I thought that the skin had seperated at the top, but it really was pretty much loose on the entire side of his face. The doctor actually peeled it back from the eyebrow and exposed the entire orbital socket. The same was done near the scalp in a upwards direction once those dressings had been removed. Most of the blood had congealed at this point.The worst part was that he was still conscious. Not fully alert, but he kept trying to talk. He yelled about how he lost a tooth. He wanted to see his wife NOW. He also wanted a priest. The prognosis from the doctor was critical, but not life threatening. I should have left about the time of the orbital exam, but was fascinated by the amount of damage that had been done to his face. The way that the skin just slid down once the pressure was released is something I'll have a hard time forgetting.

And now that you've read all of that, here's something to clear that mental image...

http://216.218.248.240/datastore/bc/5b/b/bc5b991d3b526974bf8d62a5e689d9cc.jpg
http://216.218.248.240/datastore/09/80/b/09804fcb2da43a04aaf47de23f440b80.jpg

Another reason not to choose AOL.

2006-08-07T15:48:00.000-07:00

The utter stupidity of this is staggering. AOL has released very private data about its users without their permission. While the AOL username has been changed to a random ID number, the abilitiy to analyze all searches by a single user will often lead people to easily determine who the user is, and what they are up to. The data includes personal names, addresses, social security numbers and everything else someone might type into a search box.

The most serious problem is the fact that many people often search on their own name, or those of their friends and family, to see what information is available about them on the net. Combine these ego searches with porn queries and you have a serious embarrassment. Combine them with “buy ecstasy” and you have evidence of a crime. Combine it with an address, social security number, etc., and you have an identity theft waiting to happen. The possibilities are endless.

User 491577 searches for “florida cna pca lakeland tampa”, “emt school training florida”, “low calorie meals”, “infant seat”, and “fisher price roller blades”. Among user 39509’s hundreds of searches are: “ford 352″, “oklahoma disciplined pastors”, “oklahoma disciplined doctors”, “home loans”, and some other personally identifying and illegal stuff I’m going to leave out of here. Among user 545605’s searches are “shore hills park mays landing nj”, “frank william sindoni md”, “ceramic ashtrays”, “transfer money to china”, and “capital gains on sale of house”. Compared to some of the data, these examples are on the safe side. I’m leaving out the worst of it - searches for names of specific people, addresses, telephone numbers, illegal drugs, and more. There is no question that law enforcement, employers, or friends could figure out who some of these people are.

And there's some really scary stuff in this data if you look hard enough. For example, as this link shows,

http://plentyoffish.wordpress.com/2006/08/07/aol-search-data-shows-users-planning-to-commit-murder/

17556639 how to kill your wife

17556639 wife killer

17556639 how to kill a wife

17556639 poop

17556639 dead people

17556639 pictures of dead people

17556639 killed people

17556639 dead pictures

17556639 murder photo

17556639 steak and cheese

17556639 photo of death

17556639 death

17556639 dead people photos

17556639 photo of dead people

17556639 www.murderdpeople.com

17556639 decapatated photos

17556639 car crashes

317556639 car crashes

317556639 car crash photo

AOL must have missed the uproar over the DOJ’s demand for “anonymized” search data last year that caused all sorts of pain for Microsoft and Google. That’s the only way to explain their release of data that includes 20 million web queries from 650,000 AOL users.

Note that Microsoft has proposed releasing similar data to researchers, although with an important difference - the data is not associated with a user. Excite released data very similar to what AOL has done here, with user associations, in 1999.

AOL is hitting bottom when it comes to brand image. This story comes on the heels of the recorded phone call with customer service disaster as well as a just-in story about a woman who is unable to cancel her deceased father’s AOL account, nine months after his death.

2006-07-28T18:09:00.000-07:00

Breakdance baby

I think I'm just going to give up posting real content and just link to videos. Like Web Junk, without the annoying black guy.

Just got back from vacation.

2006-07-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

However, princess can describe the events better than me. I'll just link there and comment. In the meantime, here's a link to another blog.

http://www.whatjeffkilled.com/index.html

It's pics and descriptions of what one man's cat has killed.

2006-07-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

So, I just finished my class for EMT'ing. Just a regular update, but it's required. I passed it all, so I guess I'm still OK. We got to intubate a dummy in the back of a rig though, that was fun. Can't wait to do it for real. Also, I know all my medications. Fun.
The local community college calendar came out today, and it has a listing for a Paramedic class. 4 semesters though, and it's about $1200/per class. Ugh, maybe I'll have to put it off again...

Pee Wee's Playhouse finally made it back on TV. It comes on about the time I'm getting ready for work. I can't decide If I like it back on or not. The "secret word" was getting on my nerves by the end of the show. But, Larry Fishburne really looked hot as Cowboy Curtis. I wonder what he's doing now...