So the girl lost a tooth this weekend...plus a 13 list.
She looks so damn cute with that gap in her smile. I think her brother is jealous.
I get to work as an EMT at a football game tonight. Should be a blast . Hopefully I get to see my old calculus teacher there and show her how much L'Hopital's rule and fundamental theorem of calculus did for me.
So I'm going to do my 13 list. 13 most memorable teachers from my school years:
13. Mrs Coleman, kindergarten. She was "a drunk" according to my mom. This was before my mom got heavy into the sauce. Mrs. Coleman made me sit in the corner for doing an impression of a narwhal. I had just seen a book with them and impersonated the horn with my middle finger. I had no idea that there was another connotation to that hand gesture. Bitch.
12. Mrs Attig, 3rd grade. She made me start writing right-handed. I think she was married to an ex-Nazi.
11. Mr Degussa, freshman English. He would go for long runs every day, but when questioned in class about it, he denied it. He claimed to be running behind the math building with other teachers to smoke cigarettes. He also brought a cat to school on accident. It climbed into his engine and rode all the way to school. It was unharmed. He felt he had to give it a lucky name, so he called it "Diesel".
10. Mrs Sanford, 2nd grade. I remember this one girl who was ill-behaved in class. Mrs Sanford tied her to a chair once. It was funny. Later on, the girl spit on my soccer ball.
9. Mrs. Law, 4th grade. She made us watch Mr. Rogers once. In 4th grade.
8. Mrs. Garrett, 8th grade AP English. For some reason, she had us do a study on the painting "Nude Descending a Staircase". I've never liked art since then.
7. Mr. Garrett, principal, Mt. Vernon Township High School. He was a substitute teacher as well as principal. He filled in for my Economics teacher freshman year, and made econ even more boring than it already was to begin with.
6. Mrs. Lower, sophomore English. We got off on the wrong foot when I mentioned that Walt Whitman was a homosexual. I didn't know that her husband, another teacher at my school, had been arrested on child molestation charges. She didn't care too much for me after that. I think that she's the reason that I never made it into National Honors Society.
5. Mrs. Jones, Junior Speech. She made us take turns doing daily 5 minutes speeches. One girl did her speech on euthanasia. It was touching because the girl tlaked about her grandmother wanting to die and the doctors kept treating her cancer and blah blah blah. Another student did one on Auschwitz. So I did my speech later that week on body odor. Mrs Jones thanked me after class for picking such a light-hearted topic after the previous speech. She later asked is I'd do my next speech on something similar. So I picked foot odor. It was awesome.
4. Bob McKenzie, theater. I never had him as a teacher. However, he directed a ton of my plays. He's "queer as a 3 dollar bill" but very cool. He's what you picture an old drag queen turns in to after he can't pass as a woman very well. He's also a good director, but a terrible actor. I played the part of Flint in "Something's Afoot", Conrad Birdie in "Bye Bye Birdie", and did stage work on several of his other plays.
3. Mr. Burnett, senior AP History. He had a strange accent, very nasally and with 3-year old type mispronunciations. But when he spoke, you could tell that he put a lot of thought into the words he chose. The voice took a lot from it though. He said "rayrode" for railroad and talked incessantly about Yvonne, his wife and Gigi, the dog. He taught all kinds of social studies classes and coached debate. My friend Pat got drunk on one debate trip and kept offering him the half eaten crusts from his pizza. I've heard that she's since divorced him. Princess got a few cool pictures at his garage sale though.
2. Mrs. Harding, sophomore geometry. I always tried to work the transitive property into all of my proofs. She always tried to mark me wrong or give me partial credit for the problems. I always fought each one to the bitter end.
1. Mrs. Rolf, junior Trig, junior Pre-Calc, senior Calculus. I had a huge crush on her. Everything with a penis did. Everything with a vagina was jealous of her. I think she's like 70 now and I'd probably still do her. She's had a lot of work done though. I almost got expelled from school for saying a few "erotic" things about her in an interview in the school newspaper. Good times...
I get to work as an EMT at a football game tonight. Should be a blast . Hopefully I get to see my old calculus teacher there and show her how much L'Hopital's rule and fundamental theorem of calculus did for me.
So I'm going to do my 13 list. 13 most memorable teachers from my school years:
13. Mrs Coleman, kindergarten. She was "a drunk" according to my mom. This was before my mom got heavy into the sauce. Mrs. Coleman made me sit in the corner for doing an impression of a narwhal. I had just seen a book with them and impersonated the horn with my middle finger. I had no idea that there was another connotation to that hand gesture. Bitch.
12. Mrs Attig, 3rd grade. She made me start writing right-handed. I think she was married to an ex-Nazi.
11. Mr Degussa, freshman English. He would go for long runs every day, but when questioned in class about it, he denied it. He claimed to be running behind the math building with other teachers to smoke cigarettes. He also brought a cat to school on accident. It climbed into his engine and rode all the way to school. It was unharmed. He felt he had to give it a lucky name, so he called it "Diesel".
10. Mrs Sanford, 2nd grade. I remember this one girl who was ill-behaved in class. Mrs Sanford tied her to a chair once. It was funny. Later on, the girl spit on my soccer ball.
9. Mrs. Law, 4th grade. She made us watch Mr. Rogers once. In 4th grade.
8. Mrs. Garrett, 8th grade AP English. For some reason, she had us do a study on the painting "Nude Descending a Staircase". I've never liked art since then.
7. Mr. Garrett, principal, Mt. Vernon Township High School. He was a substitute teacher as well as principal. He filled in for my Economics teacher freshman year, and made econ even more boring than it already was to begin with.
6. Mrs. Lower, sophomore English. We got off on the wrong foot when I mentioned that Walt Whitman was a homosexual. I didn't know that her husband, another teacher at my school, had been arrested on child molestation charges. She didn't care too much for me after that. I think that she's the reason that I never made it into National Honors Society.
5. Mrs. Jones, Junior Speech. She made us take turns doing daily 5 minutes speeches. One girl did her speech on euthanasia. It was touching because the girl tlaked about her grandmother wanting to die and the doctors kept treating her cancer and blah blah blah. Another student did one on Auschwitz. So I did my speech later that week on body odor. Mrs Jones thanked me after class for picking such a light-hearted topic after the previous speech. She later asked is I'd do my next speech on something similar. So I picked foot odor. It was awesome.
4. Bob McKenzie, theater. I never had him as a teacher. However, he directed a ton of my plays. He's "queer as a 3 dollar bill" but very cool. He's what you picture an old drag queen turns in to after he can't pass as a woman very well. He's also a good director, but a terrible actor. I played the part of Flint in "Something's Afoot", Conrad Birdie in "Bye Bye Birdie", and did stage work on several of his other plays.
3. Mr. Burnett, senior AP History. He had a strange accent, very nasally and with 3-year old type mispronunciations. But when he spoke, you could tell that he put a lot of thought into the words he chose. The voice took a lot from it though. He said "rayrode" for railroad and talked incessantly about Yvonne, his wife and Gigi, the dog. He taught all kinds of social studies classes and coached debate. My friend Pat got drunk on one debate trip and kept offering him the half eaten crusts from his pizza. I've heard that she's since divorced him. Princess got a few cool pictures at his garage sale though.
2. Mrs. Harding, sophomore geometry. I always tried to work the transitive property into all of my proofs. She always tried to mark me wrong or give me partial credit for the problems. I always fought each one to the bitter end.
1. Mrs. Rolf, junior Trig, junior Pre-Calc, senior Calculus. I had a huge crush on her. Everything with a penis did. Everything with a vagina was jealous of her. I think she's like 70 now and I'd probably still do her. She's had a lot of work done though. I almost got expelled from school for saying a few "erotic" things about her in an interview in the school newspaper. Good times...
posted by monkeybrigade at 7:47 AM
3 Comments:
inanimate object you'd wish to be? mrs. rolf's pencil eraser?
Who knew you were a man of the theater? I've never known a man from the theater to be married!
FACT: I read princess' post as "mrs. rofl's pencil"
FACT #2: Wanting to be your teacher's chair is inappropriate.
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