Quick 5 minute post with some suggestions for you...

First, if you haven't already, download WinAMP.

Second, listen regularly to Radio KoL.

Third, listen to Chimp on BoogieChimpRadio on Sunday: 5pm - 7pm Central US time, 11pm - 1am UK time, Tuesday: 7pm - 9pm Central US, 1am - 3 am UK, Thursday 7-9pm Central.

Fourth, when you aren't doing any of that, visit Cheekyboy for some of the best downloads. He's easily the best mash DJ out there. Or you can get the Best of Bootie album or visit the RIAA (Really Interesting Audio Adventures or Recording Industries Are Archaic for those in the know). Trust me.

Finally, to experience the best of the internet fad songs in 5 megs or less, right click here.

So the girl lost a tooth this weekend...plus a 13 list.

She looks so damn cute with that gap in her smile. I think her brother is jealous.

I get to work as an EMT at a football game tonight. Should be a blast . Hopefully I get to see my old calculus teacher there and show her how much L'Hopital's rule and fundamental theorem of calculus did for me.

So I'm going to do my 13 list. 13 most memorable teachers from my school years:

13. Mrs Coleman, kindergarten. She was "a drunk" according to my mom. This was before my mom got heavy into the sauce. Mrs. Coleman made me sit in the corner for doing an impression of a narwhal. I had just seen a book with them and impersonated the horn with my middle finger. I had no idea that there was another connotation to that hand gesture. Bitch.

12. Mrs Attig, 3rd grade. She made me start writing right-handed. I think she was married to an ex-Nazi.

11. Mr Degussa, freshman English. He would go for long runs every day, but when questioned in class about it, he denied it. He claimed to be running behind the math building with other teachers to smoke cigarettes. He also brought a cat to school on accident. It climbed into his engine and rode all the way to school. It was unharmed. He felt he had to give it a lucky name, so he called it "Diesel".

10. Mrs Sanford, 2nd grade. I remember this one girl who was ill-behaved in class. Mrs Sanford tied her to a chair once. It was funny. Later on, the girl spit on my soccer ball.

9. Mrs. Law, 4th grade. She made us watch Mr. Rogers once. In 4th grade.

8. Mrs. Garrett, 8th grade AP English. For some reason, she had us do a study on the painting "Nude Descending a Staircase". I've never liked art since then.

7. Mr. Garrett, principal, Mt. Vernon Township High School. He was a substitute teacher as well as principal. He filled in for my Economics teacher freshman year, and made econ even more boring than it already was to begin with.

6. Mrs. Lower, sophomore English. We got off on the wrong foot when I mentioned that Walt Whitman was a homosexual. I didn't know that her husband, another teacher at my school, had been arrested on child molestation charges. She didn't care too much for me after that. I think that she's the reason that I never made it into National Honors Society.

5. Mrs. Jones, Junior Speech. She made us take turns doing daily 5 minutes speeches. One girl did her speech on euthanasia. It was touching because the girl tlaked about her grandmother wanting to die and the doctors kept treating her cancer and blah blah blah. Another student did one on Auschwitz. So I did my speech later that week on body odor. Mrs Jones thanked me after class for picking such a light-hearted topic after the previous speech. She later asked is I'd do my next speech on something similar. So I picked foot odor. It was awesome.

4. Bob McKenzie, theater. I never had him as a teacher. However, he directed a ton of my plays. He's "queer as a 3 dollar bill" but very cool. He's what you picture an old drag queen turns in to after he can't pass as a woman very well. He's also a good director, but a terrible actor. I played the part of Flint in "Something's Afoot", Conrad Birdie in "Bye Bye Birdie", and did stage work on several of his other plays.

3. Mr. Burnett, senior AP History. He had a strange accent, very nasally and with 3-year old type mispronunciations. But when he spoke, you could tell that he put a lot of thought into the words he chose. The voice took a lot from it though. He said "rayrode" for railroad and talked incessantly about Yvonne, his wife and Gigi, the dog. He taught all kinds of social studies classes and coached debate. My friend Pat got drunk on one debate trip and kept offering him the half eaten crusts from his pizza. I've heard that she's since divorced him. Princess got a few cool pictures at his garage sale though.

2. Mrs. Harding, sophomore geometry. I always tried to work the transitive property into all of my proofs. She always tried to mark me wrong or give me partial credit for the problems. I always fought each one to the bitter end.

1. Mrs. Rolf, junior Trig, junior Pre-Calc, senior Calculus. I had a huge crush on her. Everything with a penis did. Everything with a vagina was jealous of her. I think she's like 70 now and I'd probably still do her. She's had a lot of work done though. I almost got expelled from school for saying a few "erotic" things about her in an interview in the school newspaper. Good times...

I've learned something new today.

Kitler is a new word for me.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Ah shit, guess I'm going to do a list now too...

From Princess' blog.

1. Who was your first prom date? Stacza Lipinski, my junior year. We dated forever, so I've got a feeling she'll be on a few more answers....

2. Who was your first roommate? Frank Lambrecht. I went to the Illinois Math and Science Academy my sophomore year of high school. He was a nut from Cicero who liked sauerkraut, Apple IIe computers, and mohawks. But his parents wouldn't let him get one, so he had a faux-hawk. He'd even iron his hair to get it right.

3. What was your first alcoholic drink? Probably one of my dad's beers. I wasn't much of a drinker until college, then I hit vodka hard. Too hard.

4. What was your first job? My step-dad used to run a construction company. The guys put up the iron frame work of the buildings. My job was to take a bolt and a nut and screw them together. That way, when the guys were up top, they only had to worry about the one unit instead of two. I was 12. I leterally had a 55 gallon drun of bolt and another of nuts. When I finally emptied the nut barrel, another one showed up a tthe job site the next day.

5. What was your first car? '84 Ford Tempo. I hated that car.

6. What was your first funeral? The first one I remember was my gradmother's funeral. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and died within 2 months.

7. What was your first broken bone? I busted out my front teeth as a kid. Then I busted then out again in college. I've been in a cast twice due to sprained ankles.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Eyre. Can't remember a whole lot about her though.

9. Where was your first airplane ride to? Arizona to see my step-sister and her family. It sucked because it was in the early morning. The flight home was nice though.

10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time? Probably when I was 15, going over to a friend' s house.

11. Who was your first best friend? Tough to say, I moved a lor as a kid and never got to know people too well. I just kind of bounced around.

12. Where was your first sleep over? I used to stay with my cousins all the time. They were my age. Jason had an Intellivision and I'd take my Atari 2600 over and we'd stay up all night. Well, as long as a couple of 7 year olds could stay up anyway.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I don't. I hate talking on the phone.

14. Who's wedding were you in for the first time? My cousin Alissa's wedding. I was kind of like a flower girl, but I was with anothe guy and we unrolled a carpet for the bride to walk down.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? I work 3rd shift, so in the real morning I'm just getting off work and checking out my websites. For my morning, it's usually just rushing to get ready for work.

16. What was the first concert you went to? I supposedly went to 3 Dog Night as a toddler, but I remember seeing Kenny Rogers and the Imperials when I was in preschool.

17. First tattoo or piercing? As Diaree calls it, my "prison tattoo" was a yin-yang on my chest. It was about the size of a half dollar and uneven. I can't believe I even paid the guy for it. It's very well covered now.

18. First celebrity crush? Once upon a time, a show called "Who's the Boss" appeared on the airwaves. I was in love with Alyssa milano from the first time I saw her on TV with the baseball cap and flannel shirt. I'm still totally hot for her.

19. First non-celebrity crush? Heather Hilliard. She was a genius at IMSA, and she was gorgeous. The 3rd day I was there we hung out and I showed her some of my skateboarding tricks. She even gave me a kiss on the cheek. Nothing else came out of it, but we hung out a lot with mutual friends and I was totally infatuated with her.

20. First true love? I hate to copy Diaree, but she's the first person that I've really been totally in love with. Even now, I see her walking in the house with shorts and a t-shirt and her hair messed up and I think that I'm in heaven seeing an angel. She's the whole reason I am waht I am today.

An update to the AOL story.

I'm not going to link to the actual file that AOL put out, it's well over 400 meg. However here is a site that let's you do a search query through the log. I've been having fun looking up some of the weird shit people have been searching.

279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 1
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 2
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 3
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 4
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 7
279449 cant get an erection 2006-04-25 12:16:25 9
279449 propecia and erections 2006-04-25 12:25:12 1
279449 propecia and erections 2006-04-25 12:25:12 8
279449 is a man turned off if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:29:54
279449 is a man turned on if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:30:08 3
279449 is a man turned on if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:30:08 6
279449 is a man turned on if he has no erection 2006-04-25 12:30:08 8
279449 can a blow job help erectile dysfunction 2006-04-25 13:17:01 3
279449 can a blow job help erectile dysfunction 2006-04-25 13:17:01 4
279449 can a blow job help erectile dysfunction 2006-04-25 13:17:01 5
279449 soaking two maxi paid in 2 hours 2006-04-25 14:06:20 1
279449 soaking two maxi paid in 2 hours 2006-04-25 14:07:00
279449 extremely heavy menstrual bleeding 2006-04-25 14:07:38

Someone can't get it up. I wonder if the "extremely heavy menstrual bleeding" has anything to do with her husband being impotent...

I saw a guy lose half of his face the other day.

So this guy was in a single vehicle wreck on the interstate. He swerved off the left side of the road and clipped the front of a bridge. Then the car slid sideways into the right side of the bridge wall, crossing 2 lanes of traffic. He wasn't wearing his seat belt, but the car had airbags, which definitely saved his life. So the impact (from what we could tell) was him lurching forward, hitting the airbag, bouncing up and hitting the windshield, then slamming into the passenger side door. When we arrived on scene, he was bleeding heavily from the top of his head. His feet were in the drivers side floor area, his butt was in the passenger seat, and his head was slumped against the dash. Blood had begun pooling in the passenger floorboards, running down his arms. He had about a 7 inch avulsion to the scalp starting at the left outer part of his orbital socket and travelling in a lazy "s" shape across his head. He had also split his lip in two, chipped a tooth, and had a 3 inch laceration under his right eye with a subdural hematoma beginning to form under the right eye.

Our hospital is ill-equpped for severe traumas like this, so we knew that we would be transporting him to a level 1 trauma center in another city. I guessed Loyola in the Chicago suburbs, the others said Peoria. They were right. It's about 70 miles to Peoria, and I got to drive. It's quite a rush driving with full lights and sirens 85 mph down the highway, really it's what I love about being an EMT. There's a certain adrenaline rush you get doing this that so many other extreme sports don't give, but I digress...The whole way down to Peoria I haerd a lot of chatter in the back. I had the patient, 2 EMTs and a nurse in the back of the rig and they were all working on his face, keeping his airway clear, controlling bleeding, and checking vitals every 3-5 minutes.

So, we arrive at the ER in Peoria and were greeted with about 20 doctors and nurses. We rushed into the trauma room, and I thought my job was finished. However, after we transferred him to the hospital bed, one of the doctors asked if we would stay and assist with their initial assessment. They needed someone to maintain C-spine while they removed the collar and got xrays. I got voted to stay and work while the others got something to eat (our breakfast got interrupted by the call for the wreck, How RUDE!). I was given a gown and a scrub by the nurses and then began my task of holding this guy's head. Literally, if he had a break somewhere in there and I moved slightly, he could have been killed or paralyzed. It was stressful, but exciting at once. After xrays, I had to stay and hold him for the remaining trauma assessment.Earlier, I mentioned an avulsion. It's what happens when the skin is ripped from the underlying muscle. Use Wikipedia if you want to learn more, Google image if you have a strong stomach. So while I'm holding this guy's head, he's on his back looking at me. Did I mention that he was concious the entire time? He was given a lot of painkillers en route to Peoria, so I knew that he didn't feel any pain, but he kept looking around very lazily. He didn't have any real fear in his looks, just, uh, curious or wonder. I think that he may have been viewing the whole experience like it was a TV show or something.

The doctors began a detailed examination fo his head wounds at this time. He was pretty much bandaged up from his chin to his forehead, save for the nose and left cheek, but they were just dressings and pressure had to be applied to control the bleeding. The doctor removed the one on his chin first. His airway was still patent and in tact, with some blood and mucus in his mouth. His upper lip was split like an upside down V. The nurse began suctioning his mouth a little to get a clean view for the doctor, when the foley got clogged. She pulled it out, and it was a piece of flesh. His tongue had no damage, and the doctor's initial assessment was that this was the area of the upper lip called the philtrum. It was placed on ice to hopefully be used in the reconstruction. I doubt it would be any good, but I'm not a surgeon.Next, the doctors checked out his orbital sockets. Now I knew what that funny feeling was under my right fingers as I held his head for C-spine. His orbital socket had been shattered. The eye wasn't really sitting properly in the socket. Maybe that was the cause for his gaze, I don't know...It was then that I noticed his face sag...One of the nurses yelled that he was "stroking out". Facial droop on one side is a classic sign of a stroke, both during it and for a long time after. The doctor told her to calm down, that it was a result of the avulsion. I thought that the skin had seperated at the top, but it really was pretty much loose on the entire side of his face. The doctor actually peeled it back from the eyebrow and exposed the entire orbital socket. The same was done near the scalp in a upwards direction once those dressings had been removed. Most of the blood had congealed at this point.The worst part was that he was still conscious. Not fully alert, but he kept trying to talk. He yelled about how he lost a tooth. He wanted to see his wife NOW. He also wanted a priest. The prognosis from the doctor was critical, but not life threatening. I should have left about the time of the orbital exam, but was fascinated by the amount of damage that had been done to his face. The way that the skin just slid down once the pressure was released is something I'll have a hard time forgetting.

And now that you've read all of that, here's something to clear that mental image...

http://216.218.248.240/datastore/bc/5b/b/bc5b991d3b526974bf8d62a5e689d9cc.jpg
http://216.218.248.240/datastore/09/80/b/09804fcb2da43a04aaf47de23f440b80.jpg

Another reason not to choose AOL.

The utter stupidity of this is staggering. AOL has released very private data about its users without their permission. While the AOL username has been changed to a random ID number, the abilitiy to analyze all searches by a single user will often lead people to easily determine who the user is, and what they are up to. The data includes personal names, addresses, social security numbers and everything else someone might type into a search box.

The most serious problem is the fact that many people often search on their own name, or those of their friends and family, to see what information is available about them on the net. Combine these ego searches with porn queries and you have a serious embarrassment. Combine them with “buy ecstasy” and you have evidence of a crime. Combine it with an address, social security number, etc., and you have an identity theft waiting to happen. The possibilities are endless.

User 491577 searches for “florida cna pca lakeland tampa”, “emt school training florida”, “low calorie meals”, “infant seat”, and “fisher price roller blades”. Among user 39509’s hundreds of searches are: “ford 352″, “oklahoma disciplined pastors”, “oklahoma disciplined doctors”, “home loans”, and some other personally identifying and illegal stuff I’m going to leave out of here. Among user 545605’s searches are “shore hills park mays landing nj”, “frank william sindoni md”, “ceramic ashtrays”, “transfer money to china”, and “capital gains on sale of house”. Compared to some of the data, these examples are on the safe side. I’m leaving out the worst of it - searches for names of specific people, addresses, telephone numbers, illegal drugs, and more. There is no question that law enforcement, employers, or friends could figure out who some of these people are.

And there's some really scary stuff in this data if you look hard enough. For example, as this link shows,

http://plentyoffish.wordpress.com/2006/08/07/aol-search-data-shows-users-planning-to-commit-murder/

17556639 how to kill your wife

17556639 how to kill your wife

17556639 wife killer

17556639 how to kill a wife

17556639 poop

17556639 dead people

17556639 pictures of dead people

17556639 killed people

17556639 dead pictures

17556639 dead pictures

17556639 dead pictures

17556639 murder photo

17556639 steak and cheese

17556639 photo of death

17556639 photo of death

17556639 death

17556639 dead people photos

17556639 photo of dead people

17556639 www.murderdpeople.com

17556639 decapatated photos

17556639 decapatated photos

17556639 car crashes

317556639 car crashes

317556639 car crash photo

AOL must have missed the uproar over the DOJ’s demand for “anonymized” search data last year that caused all sorts of pain for Microsoft and Google. That’s the only way to explain their release of data that includes 20 million web queries from 650,000 AOL users.

Note that Microsoft has proposed releasing similar data to researchers, although with an important difference - the data is not associated with a user. Excite released data very similar to what AOL has done here, with user associations, in 1999.

AOL is hitting bottom when it comes to brand image. This story comes on the heels of the recorded phone call with customer service disaster as well as a just-in story about a woman who is unable to cancel her deceased father’s AOL account, nine months after his death.